Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh: Conference III Camp Report, 12 September 2013

by J.R.

hmhf45aAs camps continue in Conference III, we’ll do a daily check-in on what’s happening across The Heptarchy. Most of the time, frankly, this is going to be by Twitter search or maybe Google if we are feeling especially inspired. Sometimes the Nashville report may be done in person. We’ll see if our buddy Gord Stinkhole wants to check in from Winnipeg. And if any of y’all have any insights from a camp visit, fire ‘em to conferencethree[at]gmail[dot]com. We’ll totally rip off your content.

Chicago

OH NO! DAT PATTY KANE WANTS TO PLAY SOMEWHERE BESIDES FOR DA HOX! AY TOADS YOUZE HE WAS NEVAH A TRUE HOCK! HE WANTS TO GO DEM SABAYZ OR TO ONE OF DEM COASTAL PLACES LIKE FOR DA KANGS OR DA DOOKS OR DA SAND HOSIE SHAWKS. I BETS HE DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO MIKE DITKER IS! TRADE EM FOR WHATS YOUZE CAN GETS BOWMAN OR JUST CUT EM LOOSE TOMORRAH. TRADE HIM TO DOZE KANGS FOR DAT TRUE HOCK MISTER DAN CARCILLA.

Colorado

So Patrick Roy has had an interesting return to Colorado, as we thought he might:

Patrick Roy stopped by a local coffee shop recently when a friendly stranger approached him for a casual conversation.

“They said, ‘Hey coach, how are you today?'” Roy recounted. “I was like, ‘Oh, yeah, that’s me.'”

He’s got them fired up on the mountain, yessiree. So much so that some people have completely lost all understanding of how re-alignment works:

Ah yes, that brutal twice-a-year rivalry. Circle those in red.

Dallas

I bet! Yaaaaa! OK, but seriously:

Damn right.

Anyhow, Rich Peverley has an EKG blip, whatever that is. Doctor?

Got it.

Minnesota

Pretty excited up there in the State of Hockey:

Yikes. They’re just now putting single-game tickets on sale?

And why are they excited? Could it Mr. 50 in ’07?

Good thing he’s fast, because Mike Yeo wants fast and he wants puck possession and he wants Wild fans to embrace that Corsi:

So as training camp kicks off Thursday with the first official practice at Ridder Arena, Wild coaches will introduce a new system — with “tweaks,” as Yeo put it — that places more of an emphasis on puck possession and rushes through the neutral zone.

“That’s a big area where we can improve and grow as a team,” Yeo said. “We have to become a better team off the rush, and we think the adjustments we’ve brought in are going to give us a better chance to attack off the rush and create off the rush.”

That means the team will be less inclined to dump the puck deep, especially for the lines with the skill and speed to skate into the offensive zone.

Nashville

Working a new motto down in Nashville:

We think that means they’ll have “personality,” as Barry Trotz put it at Wednesday’s Skate of the Union. At the same event, Eric Nystrom declared he is “gonna try to kill [Dallas], honestly.” Rudeness, Chambers Pot-style. Then he rudely used his personality to put a few behind a goalie whose name is “Darling,” not that I’m going to have to remember that next week.

Hey, look at rude they are:

Meanwhile, on back-up goalie news:

So the Predators brought in a guy named Allen York, who, I’m told, is not Tennessee hero Alvin York. Meanwhile, Seth Jones worked on the left side — notably with Kevin Klein — as sort-of predicted.

St. Louis

Good news, Blues fans. Barret Jackman is already in regular season BS mode:

Winnipeg

You’ll be without the best hair in the biz this year, Jets fans:

And guess who wants to have a big year. Like a really big year. A huge year, if you will:

Dustin Byfuglien stepped in front of a throng of media today, an occurrence as rare as an audience with the Pope.

He looked leaner and moved well on the first on-ice day of Winnipeg Jets training camp, but would not reveal what he weighed in at during the medicals (the club training-camp guide lists him at 265 pounds).

Asked if he was down in weight, Byfuglien said:

“Yeah. A little bit. Up and down.”

Byfuglien did say he spent more time on the ice this summer working on fine-tuning his game and also attended the U.S. Olympic Orientation camp.

“I didn’t really do anything different. I was on the ice a little bit more,” he said. “I did what I had to do to come to camp ready to go.”