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IIIiteracy: 18 March 2013

by J.R.


RIP J.R. Ewing

Today in Conference III action through the geniuses at SportsYapper:

Chicago 5, Colorado 2 : Gang, we are just yapping around here, but Chicago? Chicago yaps hard. Chicago is the Blackhawks of yapping. Don’t come into Chicago’s yap zone and try to yap about non-yap subjects or you will get yapped across the face. The Hawks scored a handful as noted by this fresh reference, earning a win for Ray Emery who is, lest you forget, the Hawks’ second choice.

Dallas 4, Calgary 3: Calgary still can’t win away from Calgary, even when they are in Dallas, the Calgary of Texas. On a night when J.R. Ewing’s will trolled the heck out of his whole damn family — and who here doesn’t think that J.R. Ewing wasn’t a Conference III fan, being as how he basically invented the concept of Threeness? — a Flames fan asks an important question. No, Janine, we weren’t, because Dallas was on. Scoring for the Stars: Cole, Nystrom and Loui “Where’s The Rest Of My First Name” Eriksson. This guy was wrong.

Minnesota 3, Vancouver 1 : The Wild secured first place all by their lonesome in their last year in the Northwest and Also Minnesota and Even Weirder Colorado For Some Reason Division. Minnesotans thought it was a defensive game (we think?). And Vancouverians aren’t so sure about Garrison.

Worldwide International Game Previews Of The World: 18 March 2013

by J.R.

WWIGPOTW is a look at the day’s Conference III games for III Communication readers from around the world. Today, we welcome our visitors from Sweden.



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Rich Clune: Threero Of The Week (March 11-17)

by J.R.

Sometimes Conference III is a prison-gang yard fight.

And sometimes, it’s the NHL’s most elaborate troll job. There’s an Original Six team jammed in with two Sun Belt teams, one of which moved from the home of another team in the division. There’s a Canadian team that moved from the Sun Belt and got dressed up in a history it doesn’t own, like one of those weirdos who breaks into people’s houses and wears their clothes. It’s a Central Time Zone division which includes a Mountain Time team. And also, St. Louis is involved.

This week’s Threero embraces the best of Conference III: being great at what you are even if you are not what people want you to be. It’s fighting when necessary — and refusing to fight when it will irritate the most people. It’s scoring, yes, but only in hilarious ways that make no sense.

If Conference III is the NHL’s mean-mug, our Threero is its smart-ass smirk.

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