IIIiteracy: 23 March 2013

by J.R.

A recap of today’s Conference III action with help from the geniuses at SportsYapper:

Stars 5, Avalanche 2: Five different Stars scored goals and Jamie Benn had three assists in the big Conference III battle in Big D. After leaping to a 4-0 lead, the Avs eventually cut it back to 4-2 but could get no closer. There is apparently a concern that Varlamov is maybe tanking because Russian and here’s one solution to that problem.

Wild 2, Sharks 0: A second period goal from Zach Parise was all Nik Backstrom needed. Minnesota’s yappers, being Minnesotan, don’t feel the need to yapp on and on.

Predators 5, Blue Jackets 2: In the weirdest piece of kismet since III Communication launched (you know, a week ago), the Predators had the actual Jeff Jarrett come out and give the actual El Kabong to a faux-Blue Jackets mascot, just hours after Uncle Bob made the first El Kabong reference in half a decade. It was really incredible. As incredible as the Jackets’ 12-game points streak, incredible as the Nashville Predators scoring four first period goals in just more than 3 minutes and incredible as these two historically moribund offenses combining for four goals in 1:54. No yapping. Just Hap ‘n (Harry’s).

Blues 3, Oilers 0: Chris Stewart opened the scoring — he has 15 goals in this short year, but apparently isn’t producing as he once did and should be traded, along with David Perron — and the Blues added two more in the third. Barrett Jackman had no points but that shouldn’t keep him out of the Hall of Fame. This Oilers fan hates Devan Dubnyk so much that Khabbi gets reflected hatred.