III Communication

Covering The NHL's Conference III Better Than Anyone On The Whole Internet. Like Ma Bell, We Got The III Communication

Month: April, 2013

IIIiteracy: 30 April 2013

by J.R.

A recap of tonight’s Conference III playoff action with help from the geniuses at SportsYapper:

Chicago 2, Minnesota 1 (OT): A shock goaltending change as Josh Harding replaces Nicklas “Kipper?” Backstrom and tries for the rare Masterton/Conn Smythe double. Hockey Legend Mark Messier calls the Hawks overrated and Minnesota gets misspelled support from the Garden State. And maybe Hockey Legend Mark Messier wasn’t wrong. Is there reason for concern with the Blackhawks downright patheyoc in the first? Fortunately, Marian Hossa tied things up early in the second. This fellow wants Chicago’s second-best-in-the-league offense to improve. The call made that prompted this yap was 100 percent correct. By the way, Chicago is hiding the world’s greatest hockey player. BINGO!

St. Louis 2, Los Angeles 1 (OT): This one was broadcast on official III Communication news partner CNBC. Alexander Steen opened things on a Blues power play and Blues fans are pleased they have top-notch goaltending. Pretty happy, gap-toothed faces in St. Louis, even though it should have been a blowout. Hair criticism and, gosh, you know what playoff hockey is missing? Here’s some real Conference III talk. Backes nearly took it to 2-0. Meanwhile, the Barrett Jackman Debate — the Hundred-Years War of the St. Louis Blues Yappers — wore on. Every time a 12-year-old Blues fan gets a belly ring, a cockroach takes to wing. “Classy.” Interesting note on the PP; will pass to Hitch. Thinking big in St. Louis. But with seconds remaining, yes, LA ties it up. Overtime made ’em a little restless. Alex Steen. Cue the music…

Did I notice that both games had three goals combined? III.
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3dō: Digitus Impudicus [UPDATED]

by J.R.

3dō is an occasional feature in which the meaning of Conference III is explained through prose, verse, song, interpretative dance, film, chemical formulae or illustrative anecdote relayed by old people.

Patrick Kane throws up a finger. His third finger, natch.

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It’s Finally Threesday!

by J.R.

Sleep up, carb up, drink up. It’s finally Threesday!

Best of luck to St. Louis, Chicago and Minnesota from your friends at III Communication.

This song is appropriate metaphorically if not technically.

The Sound & The Fury: The 2013 NHL Draft Lottery Unedited

by J.R.

It is 7 PM and I am watching the NHL draft lottery for some reason and here are my unedited, poorly-punctuated thoughts:

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Playoff Threeview: Chicago & Minnesota

by J.R.

1. Blackhawks 36-7-5 (77 points, 1st in Central, 1st in Conference III) vs. 8. Wild (26-19-3, 55 points, 2nd in Northwest, 3rd in Conference III)

Season Series— Blackhawks 2-0-1 (Minnesota won in a shootout January 30, which means this didn’t happen)

LeadersBlackhawks: Patrick Kane (23G, 32A, 55 Points, 8 PPG), Jonathan Toews (23 G), Marian Hossa (6 GWG, 3 in OT); Wild: Zach Parise (18G, 20A, 38 Points), Ryan Suter (28A), Clayton Stoner/Cal Clutterbuck (1 Shorthanded Assist)

Probable Goalies: Blackhawks: Corey Crawford (19-5-5, .926, 1.94); Wild: Niklas Backstrom (24-15-3, .909, 2.48)

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Playoff Threeview: St. Louis & Los Angeles

by J.R.

4. Blues 29-17-2 (60 points, 2nd in Central, 2nd in Conference III) vs. 5. Kings (27-16-5, 59 points, 2nd in Pacific)

Season Series— Kings 3-0

LeadersBlues: Chris Stewart (18G, 18A, 36 Points, 6 PPG), David Backes (22 A), Patrik Bergland (23.0 percent shooting); Kings: Anze Kopitar (10G, 32A, 42 Points), Jeff Carter (26G), Robyn Regher (69 blocked shots)

Probable Goalies: Blues: Brian Elliott (14-8-1, .907, 2.28); Kings: Jonathan Quick (18-13-4, .902, 2.45)

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It Ain’t Tuesday. It’s THREESDAY

by J.R.

Both Chicago/Minnesota and St. Louis/LA will start on Tuesday night.

TIL TUESDAY*!

*-sort of

Threenody: And West Shall Have No Dominion

by J.R.

A threnody is a poem of remembrance.

A Threenody is a poem of goodbye that parodies a much better poem. See the Central Division entry here and Winnipeg’s goodbye to the Southeast here.

With help from Dylan Thomas, the Dallas Stars, Colorado Avalanche and Minnesota Wild say goodbye to the new Pacific Division.

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Clueless Joes Action: Sacco, Nieuwendyk First Conference III Casualaties

by J.R.

Today, Colorado “relieved” coach Joe “Wait, It’s Not Sakic?” Sacco of his duties, joining Joe Nieuwendyk, who Dallas canned as GM last night.

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Threenody: Death of A Southeast Division

by J.R.

A threnody is a poem of remembrance.

A Threenody is a poem of goodbye that parodies a much better poem. See the Central Division entry here.

With help from Randall Jarrell, the Winnipeg Jets say goodbye to the Southeast Division.

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