Threenody: And West Shall Have No Dominion

by J.R.

A threnody is a poem of remembrance.

A Threenody is a poem of goodbye that parodies a much better poem. See the Central Division entry here and Winnipeg’s goodbye to the Southeast here.

With help from Dylan Thomas, the Dallas Stars, Colorado Avalanche and Minnesota Wild say goodbye to the new Pacific Division.

dylan-thomas_02_446And West shall have no dominion.
Lehtonen, goalie, the number one,
With Jagr in the wind and D Roy gone.
Their time zone was Pacific  and our time zone not,
They won’t have Stars to elbow and hook;
Though the jet lag made us insane,
Though they sit by the sea they shall rise again;
Though rivals be lost, hate shall not;
And West shall have no dominion.

And West shall have no dominion.
See the Wild of the Saint P
They lying long shall not die windily;
Sitting in eighth, the Blackhawks await,
Collapsed in Alberta, yet they did not break;
Most of their cash is paid to two,
Suter and Parise will carry them through;
Split the Northwest up they shan’t crack;
And West shall have no dominion.

And West shall have no dominion.
No more may Avs cry at the trips
To Alberta or to B.C.’s seashores;
Where they blew leads, may they lead no more
Lift your head to the promise of Duchene
Though Giggy be mad at vacations’ plan,
Landy and O’Reilly hammer and aren’t lazy;
Can’t break from the Wild, but the Oil breaks down
And West shall have no dominion.

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