IIIiteracy: 15 May 2013

by J.R.

A recap of tonight’s Conference III playoff action with help from the geniuses at SportsYapper:

Chicago 3, Detroit 1: Ah, here we are. What with the yelling and the what have you. Great early chance for the Hawks, and then Justin Abdelkader messed with the Rosie and got the thorns.

An early power-play goal from Marian Hossa was followed almost immediately by a matching goal from Young Boy Brunner.

Yes, let’s talk about why Stalberg is a scratch and then let’s speculate where he’s going to be next year.

Some people just cannot be pleased, can they? Some people just live angry lives. And the first period ends in need of untying.

IMPORTANT: Autocorrected or no?

ALSO IMPORTANT: “I love toes.”

Bolland opens the third with a great chance to break the tie. Alas. Jimmy Howard is a far piece better than whatever finished the series in Minnesota (riffin’ on Slaky here).

Oh. Do ya? 2-1 Hawks. And Kruger makes it three. And one to grow on with an empty netter from Sharpie.

In honor of our game winner, the terrible Samantha Fox: