Happy Hour In The Heptarchy: Moonshine, Ginger Ale and Brunswick Stew
It’s five past 5 across Conference III (leave work early, Colorado — you have our permission), time to hit bricks and get that freakin’ weekend started, am I right?
Of course I am.
It’s been a tough week for some of you so loosen your belt, pop a top, grab a spoon and stop being such a sourpuss. III Communication’s got good news for everybody.
What We’re Drinking: As it became apparent Tuesday night that indeed it was true that Conference III legend Peter Horachek had been fired by the Nashville Predators, it became just as apparent that we needed to set-to to drinking in his honor. I had acquired a Mason jar of, shall we call it, untaxed corn-squeezings from one of my wife’s relations (NB: when talking about whiskey that has heretofore evaded the prying eyes of the federal government, it is required one write as if one is from Cocke County, Tenn.). He had taken a good batch of Two X and flavored-it-up like apple pie within the confines of his domicile.
High-quality stuff, this. Could have drank it on its own in my frozen jar, with maybe a little ice to fight off the licks of sticky summer starting to creep into my great room. But these are tough times and I needed my cocktail to stretch, so I added one of my favorite beverages to make it into a long drink.
And what kind of tribute to Coach Horachek would it be if I didn’t toss in a couple of nails I found in the garage for good measure.
We raise this jar, an eponymous beverage, to you, Coach Horachek. Fare thee well.
What We’re Eating: It’s a busy Friday here in Nashville. Got a lot of things happening, so me and the wife have called up my dear mother to babysit the young’n. Now my momma — “Mimi” to her grandchildren — knows that I’m going to be too knackered to cook tonight, so she’s helped us out by working up a pot of chicken Brunswick stew.
Brunswick stew is one of those impossibly southern dishes, though our brethren in the Upper Midwest will notice it’s kin to booyah. Basically a thick, tomatoe-y, smokey vegetable stew — but with meat (traditionally rabbit or squirrel, but I fear tularemia and Cruetzfeldt-Jakob disease). Most of the time I make mine from leftover pork shoulder, but God bless her, mom is looking out for my health.
Reasons To Celebrate
Chicago: Well, come on, Chicago, you didn’t expect this to be easy, did you? Maybe you did. Maybe we all did. Maybe now you’re starting to fill the pressure of all of Conference III counting on you to bring us the big trophy since the dream of combining the division titles died when the Jets remembered they were just colder Thrashers and the Wild learned money can’t buy you everything. But hey! Soon you’ll get to drive 70 on the interstate like the rest of the civilized world.
Your Weekend Jam: “Go Speed Racer Go” by Sponge
Colorado: Patrick Roy and Joe Sakic are coming to save the day and Adam Foote was on the radio talking about stuff so you know, he’ll probably be the chief assistant associate scout in charge of the area immediately around his house. Anyway when all these old dudes did get around to coming back to Colorado, their water bill won’t be all that high, at least.
Your Weekend Jam: “Return of the Mack” by Mark Morrison
Dallas: Got beat to the coach thing by Colorado, but Lindy Ruff is available! By the way — Lindy, Claude, Barry, Q, Roy, Hitch all in Conference III? Can you imagine? Can Mike Yeo imagine how lame he’d feel? And while most people might think lawyers returning to North Texas is bad, but apparently it’s good! And if anybody gets the joke with this picture, you are also good.
Your Weekend Jam: “Tuff Enuff” by The Fabulous Thunderbirds
Minnesota: If you are super-rich (like Ryan Suter or Zach Parise, for example) your taxes are going up. Also if you smoke. Also it’s super-expensive to see Prince in concert and also Prince puts claims on every YouTube clip of every one of his songs which is why he never shows up here. Sorry. Oh. Right. Good news. Um, Bloomington’s Toro made a profit even though the seasonal weather was all weird.
Your Weekend Jam: “The Human Being Lawnmower” by The MC5
Nashville: Sadly, your greatest all-time character is gone. But at least you get Phil Housley in exchange. Not bad. Look right at what was born at the zoo.
Your Weekend Jam: “Verbal Intercourse” by Raekwon ft Nas and Ghostface Killah.
St. Louis: You can see Sammy Hagar! Maybe for free! Is this good news or bad news? No idea. Chelsea is in your town; is that good or bad? No idea (actually, it’s terrible). Legit good news: Motorcyclists had a good year legislatively.
Your Weekend Jam: “Born To Be Wild” by Link Wray
Winnipeg: You guys. The Jockey Club is suing Manitoba. That’s a heckuva exquisite corpse. Cool stuff, though, up there in Peg Town (does anyone call it this?): new skyscraper! Which means Winnipeg could be the Chicago of the North again, which apparently it was once?
Your Weekend Jam: “Skyscrapers” by OK Go