IIIiteracy: 25 May 2013

by J.R.

A recap of tonight’s Conference III playoff action with help from the geniuses at SportsYapper:

Chicago 4, Detroit 1: If “your not” interested in hockey, watch Comedy Central or maybe a lady channel. Or maybe head down to your local watering hole, where a man might woo you with high-caliber pick-up lines.

Keys to victory with Steve from the Yap: Number One and Letter B. A Wings fan notes that there is a chance Chicago may take this. And here’s the glummest analysis ever. And then this analysis, which is not spelled correctly. The longest of yaps.

A reminder that Detroit whined their way out of Conference III.


IMPORTANT: Sports fans wear gear of the team they support.

STATS: At this point, the teams had the same number of power plays for the series. And this is a not unfair assessment of the ‘Hawks with the advantage.

This guy has seen a lot of hockey (also, is full of baloney). But he does recognize that Jimmy Howard is quite good. And apparently has citizenship in the same set of multiple countries as this dude.

Sure I got this: it’s tied now.

Chicago’s power play is like when you go to see a great band and they say they are going to do a cover of a song and you say “Oh man, this is great. This is a great band and that is a great song and I bet that band doing this song will be great.” Except then it’s terrible.

Except this time, because Chicago scored on the power play.

Old times” to this yapper is 2008 and 2009, and NOT 1992.

Ya know, I knew when I came up with a perfect metaphor for Chicago’s power play (SEE ABOVE), it would start working.

This is intermission, actually. And this is actually something someone said in a public forum during intermission. And this!

Four banger, Shaw goes deucing. And a Detroit fan suggests Chicago start a benchclearer to seize momentum.

Nice win, Hawks, but you’ve got so far to go.