3 Minutes Of Poetry: Ode To Golden Anguish and Entertainment

by J.R.

From time-to-time, in the interest of your greater enlightenment and elucidation, we here at III Communication try to bring something a little more high-brow and we don’t just mean pictures of Ville Nieminen.

We’ve presented our own poetry before, but today we present an offering from Link as he memorializes the Predators season from soup-to-nuts, from the lift of the lockout to the theft at the draft. If you would like to pen an ode to your favorite (or least favorite) team in verse, please do and send it to conferencethree[at]gmail[dot]com. We accept all reader submissions (and guarantee to run at least most of them).

Without further ado, we turn it over to Link…

So many hours went in to this poem
For Conference III glory I slaved on
Every season must be treasured always
Even when tears replace our brilliant teeth
Now please cast your eyes to my words below

Ode To Golden Anguish and Entertainment

By Link

Our eyes were bright as the day was clear
Anticipation glinted at the end of this future year
Belief flew high while hearts swung low
An endless gold pendulum-striking blow after blow
Far from visions of beaches with soft, silvery waves
Fans stare at the draft with weary, ravenous gazes


Not long after skates cut the clean ice surface
Clune was claimed from the Kings and pressed into service
The season started rough just like any other
Then Patric took a puck and his leg Getzlaf smothered
The Preds could never consistently put the puck in the net
But a loss in the shootout was always a safe bet
As Nashville blossomed into a tepid southern winter
Colin Wilson began to prove, even to skeptics, he was a winner
Though times were not yet dark fans sought warm comfort
The Preds unveiled food we all bought but could not afford
Bacon pierced with sticks and chicken served on white
All pleasant distractions from each shitty night
Things looked great with Colin carrying the weight
Then the boy headed north where Suter did await
Goose punched a puck and that got him in trouble
What happened next pointed a pin at our bubble
Still the season was strong though none would call them hot
Unlike section 114 that gave those Sharks fans better than they got
Through the final days of February a thought settled in
Maybe Trotz’s boys weren’t good enough to win

It had been weeks since Hal Gill was last seen
Together we knew this tree wouldn’t blossom until Spring
The team’s hopes they were dashed once the Ides had ended
Two true triumphs couldn’t obfuscate what the Kings had portended
Next there came Boychuk and Butler stolen off waivers
It was clear from the start that neither were our saviors
I would talk about Yip and the knock that he got
But I don’t think we care a whole hell of a lot
Bartley returned to replace our much loved defenseman of wood
While Matt went to Milwaukee because he’s not all that good

Things still looked grim as the team returned to the YEG
The Preds’ fragile egos could not be knocked down another peg
A feed from young Smith sent Gagner streaming ahead
But Sergei did not care and slipped off to take a quick nap instead
Then Dirk wrote of boners and that was all got pretty weird
I don’t want to downplay this; it was pretty damned weird
Speaking of boners Goose got placed on injured reserve
Finally Taylor Beck got the call-up we thought he deserved
His game was so complete, like baklava it had sweet layers
Beck was so good Poile abandoned Boychuk to waivers
Smith lost his game and was sent on a conditioning assignment
Though part of me felt that Trotz wouldn’t care if he did find it
Two more quick wins put a spark in our tiring hearts
Even though as contenders the Preds hardly looked the part
Not long after the Preds surrender seven to Phoenix in one night
I could feel the fans had given up on this year’s Playoff fight
As March ended I’d been drained of all my mirth
Even my ginger hero had been sent packing pack up north.


March stumbled out just in time for April to stumble in
And we wept when beloved Bourque, recontré sa fin
Though fans did not know by that second the season was lost
The Preds would be known as the river easily crossed
In a number of days amounting to one less than a score
The Chicago Blackhawks would put the Preds away four times more
In a blistering moment that shocked all of Pred-nation
Poile traded Marty for young Forsberg to a standing ovation
And I guess if you care Hannan was sent to the West Coast
That Nashville got a pick in return was a reasonable boast
So the month progressed into an unappetizing kerfuffle
Lead by the Hawks whose feathers the Predators could not ruffle
Much-maligned Ellis came back just to be gone in a sneeze
And Austin Watson was summoned like a set of jingling keys
Every game was a mess; every line juggle went all wrong
So why not call up another Swede, this time why not Daniel Bång
Still in mere days the Predators were the hockey equivalent of gangue
Minor leaguers packed on miles in hopes of a Nashville vacation
While we all looked on in various states of inebriation
Talks turned to picks and dreams of Jersey draft glory
A brief cameo from Ekholm is about all that’s left to the season’s story
Though the Preds scored four on some flickering Flames
Bloggers were more interested in Barkov and who’s to blame
The Predators were done, something that’d been clear for over a month
But in a short season it could be a relief to not worry
The team is quite young and can dream of another day’s glory
When Hornqvist signed up for five more years in the net
We cheered, but the pieces the Preds needed weren’t locked up quite yet

And now the playoffs have come, the Preds wait on the outside
Some fans had chosen to swallow their brains with their pride
Our boys carried on traveling to the land of the Norse
They did pretty well, with the Canadians clearly doing the worst
Josi emerged his head held high for the Swiss
The only honor he lost was the gold medal that he missed
The biggest surprised was still yet to come
When despite David’s assurances we learned Horacheck was done
Though not all were convinced that he should be blamed
Yet all rejoiced when the legendary Phil Housley was named
Phil’s plans for Ellis were rumored to be sublime and varied
Good news indeed for Ryan looked small, lost, and harried
This may ended with little else but prospects galore
A shame since much of the Playoffs turned out to be a snore
As the postseason wore on the league set out for rule changing
Like grandfathering visors to limit puck to facial rearranging
In the midst of this all Josi was locked up for seven
Drawing one step nearer to his Ryan Suter succession
Rumors arose that Omsk might rescue the baby Kostitsyn
Meanwhile Butler was sent packing, having failed his last audition
But Brennan came up from Florida, a left skating D
Fans were excited, I guess to some small, quiet degree
The singing kept coming with Henderson warmly welcomed back
And Vic Bartley finally made it after traveling a difficult track
The sharp tang of fear soured much of Pred-nation
When rumors from the Avs lead to Seth Jones speculation
After weeks of Russo-Finns danced sweetly in our heads
The sudden though of drafting defense turned fans’ faces ugly reds
Poile’s phone rang, mighty U.S. hockey he will serve
He’ll likely call on Suter, which is more than that guy deserves
Sochi is coming and Poile will have our young eagles ready
Even if Bettman gets in the way turning the pros absentee
Now is that special time at the end of the season
When qualifying offers drop and fans note the strategic deletions
This year Spaling survived when so many others did not
Halischuk and Blum found out their Preds futures won’t amount to a lot


As draft day thundered toward us out alarm only grew
It seemed the Preds’ stock of defensemen was only to accrue
At the finale of June fans gathered near and spread afar
All hoping Poile would recognize his challenge and strike for the heart
Tensions only rose as the talking heads trundled on
The E-Z Bake lights bleaching Pierre’s head into a gleaming white pawn
Preds fans few quiet as Sakic and Roy took the stage
Their first pick of MacKinnon launched us into a polite Southern rage
But the moment that we knew that it was all basically over
Was when Florida choose Barkov giving Jones his second cold shoulder
The Finn for which we lusted was out of our desperate grasp
As far as Pole was concerned a great miracle had landed in his lap
Nashville had been gifted the long number-one ranked skater
A big, puck-moving star to replace our squared-headed traitor
There were more rounds to this draft, but I declare us done
As we moved toward FA speculation and Ellis trading fun
Truly the Preds drafting D was the perfect cap on this season
Many more words would just be me prattling on with no reason


So, I will leave you with this on a warm Tennessee night
No wiser of the past than what is to come
But know that Nashville’s future is exceedingly bright
And that all of Conference Three quakes at the Predators’ might