IIIiteracy: 3 October 2013

by J.R.

A recap of tonight’s Conference III action with help from the geniuses on social media:

So where’s the Yapps? Explanation here.

St. Louis 4, Nashville 2: On Seth Jones Day, the Blues open it up with a power play goal before the first commercial, as Inglorious Backes was left undefended:

Good thinking, Morningwood85. Sobotka got behind Kevin Klein and it’s 2-0 less than six minutes in. And it’s three goals on six in 9:45, soooo Hutton gets the call as Rinne hits the bench with the back-to-back on the docket. Fisher immediately grabs one back and early in the second David Legwand gets another back and the Preds almost immediately get a power play, because St. Louis can’t count. The Blues stretch back to two because Carter Hutton is an adventure.

And…uh…well, we aren’t gonna be allowed to show what Seth Jones did on the power play because this is a family blog and it was very very dirty.

Anyway, St. Louis won the first Conference III match-up when someone asks you in a trivia game in 2032.

Los Angeles 3, Minnesota 2: The Wild waste no time making their bid for most absurd opening goal of the year when Matt Cooke notches an early one

Doughty tied it for LA a few minutes later and Brodin notched the extra for the Wild late in the first.

The least Minnesota Wild player ever tied it up late:

Let’s all agree to call Jeff Carter “The Thirst.”

And then the shootout — the least Minnesota Wild hockey event — decided it in favor of not the Minnesota Wild.

Florida 4, Dallas 2: No longer taking entries for most ridiculous opening goal

Stars tie it up when Forgotten Rookie Alex Chiasson gets his first

Garbutt got ejected and also his name is Garbutt.

Anywho. In the second or third period, Brenden Dillon scored a shorty and is also a person that exists. And Alex Barkov rewarded the Panthers for not taking Seth Jones, I guess. He tied the game. Barkov, I mean.

And then they had to do that thing when the glass breaks and they play the last 25 minutes or whatever as one period.

Anyway, then Marcel Goc broke the tie because Marcel Goc is pretty cool. And he filled an empty, again, because he is great.

Hey gang — if you’ve got questions for our mailbag, Third Class Mail, shoot ‘em to conferencethree[at]gmail[dot]com or to @jrlind on the Twitter machine.