Happy Hour In The Heptarchy: Cheater Pulled Pork and Sam Adams

by J.R.

It’s five past 5 across Conference III (leave work early, Colorado — you have our permission), time to hit bricks and get that freakin’ weekend started, am I right?

Of course I am.

It’s been a tough week for some of you so loosen your belt, pop a top, grab a spoon and stop being such a sourpuss. III Communication’s got good news for everybody.

The Particulars

6a00d8345244ce69e2011168f54994970c-piWhat We’re Eating: TMurda is coming over to watch tonight’s Predators-Avalanche game, so I’m making pulled pork in the slow-cooker. Yes, it’s totally cheating, but it’s also easy — a four-pound Boston butt from Amish-sourced pigs I picked up from the local butcher, quartered and covered in a spice rub overnight. This morning, I put it in the slow-cooker with a cup of barbecue sauce (I mix two kinds — one hickory-and-brown-sugar and another a little spicier, as a sweet sauce can get a bit cloying in the long cooking process), a tablespoon of datil pepper hot sauce, a few trickles of liquid smoke and three chipotle peppers. Those last two are crucial in the cheating, as they lend the pork a hint of the smokiness from a traditional smoked butt.

I put the slow cooker on low and it’ll be ready by 5 or 5:30 tonight, when I’ll pull it by hand.

What We’re Drinking: Sam Adams, I’m sure. TMurda is in charge after all.

Reasons To Celebrate

Chicago: The Blackhawks avoided the banner-raising curse and, as if that’s not enough, folks in Park Ridge are taking care of the animal shelter damaged when a school bus bashed into it.

Your Weekend Jam: “Raise The Banner” by The Real McKenzies

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Colorado: Well, your coach is, in Sean Gentille’s words, “a glorious, crazy person” who is now $10,000 poorer. And is he wasn’t glorious and crazy enough, it’s already snowing.

Your Weekend Jam: “Crazy” by Violent Femmes

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Dallas: How does a team recover giving up a goal to Scott Gomez? We’ll see. And we’ll see it from every angle as the Reunion Tower’s observation deck reopens tomorrow.

Your Weekend Jam: “I Can See For Miles” by The Who

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Minnesota: The shootout is still your doom. Let Prince soothe you at Paisley Park.

Your Weekend Jam: “I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man” by Eels (because Prince songs are hard as heck to find on YouTube)

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Nashville: Hard to win when you fall behind 3-0 in less than 10 minutes, but American Hero Seth Jones played well, and the rest of the newcomers looked darn good, too.

Your Weekend Jam: “Reach Out of the Darkness” by Friend & Lover (I can’t get this song out of my head)

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St. Louis: Open the season with a win against a Conference III opponent. Pull some strings to get Brenden Morrow his visa. And if that’s not enough for you, the giant stinky corpse flower, which we have to assume is the official flower of St. Louis, will bloom at the Missouri Botanical Gardens soon.

Your Weekend Jam: “Borderline” by Madonna

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Winnipeg: Quite a comeback for the Frigid-Airs in the opener against Edmonton, eh? And it what must be the biggest news story of the year, the edible bean crop is coming in strong.

Your Weekend Jam: “King Harvest (Has Surely Come)” by The Band

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Hey gang — if you’ve got questions for our mailbag, Third Class Mail, shoot ‘em to conferencethree[at]gmail[dot]com or to @jrlind on the Twitter machine.

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