Happy Hour In The Heptarchy: Clams à la J.R. & Madeira

by J.R.

It’s five past 5 across Conference III (leave work early, Colorado — you have our permission), time to hit bricks and get that freakin’ weekend started, am I right?

Of course I am.

It’s been a tough week for some of you so loosen your belt, pop a top, grab a spoon and stop being such a sourpuss. III Communication’s got good news for everybody.

The Particulars

SteamerClams1What We’re Eating: While on my Florida vacation, I did what all people from the interior do: ate an unholy amount of seafood. Unfortunately, I developed a late in life allergy to crustaceans, which limits my seafood consumption.

I do love bivalves though — I ate lots of St. Augustine-style clam chowder (and bought a datil pepper plant to make my own) — and one night, I steamed some clams. The great part about steaming clams is that beyond the butter and garlic, it’s a pretty wide-open recipe. The French (and other fancy folk) steam them in a combination of white wine and chicken stock. Other folks swear by briny water or hefty beer. But me being me, I sauteed some peppers and steamed those bad boys in Miller High Life.

What We’re Drinking:  I applaud team executives who are active and available on social media. Predators President Sean Henry — as @predsident — is a great example.

Of course, all that availability means dealing with people’s suggestions — which are sometimes useful — and complaints — which are sometimes hilarious. The best complaints, in my experience, begin with “As a season-ticket holder” or “I’m a season-ticket holder” or (this one just applies to teams that have existed less than 80 years) “I am a Day One season-ticket holder” (you can hear the capital letters when they say it).

I also like when people complain about free things they get.

But, hey, it’s your dime, I guess, and Henry does a much better job of being helpful and non-condescending than I ever would, which is probably why he’s a C-level executive of a professional sports franchise and I write an absurdist hockey blog.

From time-to-time, I like to make my own suggestions, because, as a youngest child, I have to lighten the mood (you may have noticed):

Madeira, for what it’s worth, is delicious and has a great tradition in the south.

Reasons To Celebrate

Chicago: I know losing in Conference III’s Biggest Rivalry is painful. On the other hand, Wheaton College is having a party for a mastodon.

Your Weekend Jam: “Blood And Thunder” by Mastodon


Colorado: You are no longer The League Best Avs, but Coloradans can still beat coyotes.

Your Weekend Jam: “Coyote Song” by Bright Eyes


Dallas: A little sluggish in the early going, but that’s a nice win over San Jose. And Texas is the future!

Your Weekend Jam: “Johnny On The Spot” by Texas Is The Reason


Minnesota: Still a little rough going in the Estado De Hockey, but just think: you can move to Scandia, work hard and live to be 100. What a life!

Your Weekend Jam: “Century Song” by Burning Brides


Nashville: Can’t buy a goal despite all the Corsiing and Fenwickery. Maybe the cats at the Comic Con know some spells.

Your Weekend Jam: “Strange Magic” by Electric Light Orchestra


St. Louis: Embarrassed by the Sharks but beat the Hawks, St. Louis has plenty of column-fodder to remind them how they are The Best. And it’s Chuck Berry’s 87th birthday.

Your Weekend Jam: “Maybellene” by Social Distortion


Winnipeg: Remember — last in Conference III is better than worst in the Flortheast. And you got a whole new cabinet! That’s good, right? I have no idea.

Your Weekend Jam: “Undun” by The Guess Who