3dō: Public Threenemy

by J.R.

3dō is an occasional feature in which the meaning of Conference III is explained through prose, verse, song, interpretative dance, film, chemical formulae or illustrative anecdote relayed by old people.

Hat tip to Ryan Lambert for noting this in Puck Daddy’s “What We Learned” today…

This genius in Chicago thinks the Central should be blown up because Chicagoans don’t care about the other teams in Conference III. Remember when we realigned an entire league because Detroit whined about it? This Silverman dude wants Chicagoans to be the whining catalysts for the next round of re-alignment.

First he, predictably, whines about southern markets — the first refuge of the unimaginative scold — but, he’s no mere critic.

He has a realignment plan!

It’s simply not fair to isolate the Blackhawks from the other Original Six teams. Here’s how we would have handled realignment to keep interest at a high level throughout the league for years to come.

Western Conference

Central Division

Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Detroit, Minnesota, St. Louis, Toronto, Winnipeg.

Yes, this forward-thinker believes the solution to the problem he imagines exists is to put Detroit in the Central not once, but twice.

We try hard at III Communication to raise the level of discourse, to write smart — even nerdy — commentary, but we’ve never had the intellectual gumption to realign the league with the same team in the division twice.