Rinne The Poo

by J.R.

According to a report from Nick Kypreos, detailed over at SBNation, Nashville Predators goalie Pekka Rinne’s “spontaneous bacterial infection” that was going to sideline him four week is actually E. coli and will instead keep him out until around Christmas.

I’m not a doctor, but I’m told by the Internet, which is full of doctors, that E. coli infections are not terribly uncommon with abdomen surgeries. An illustration:


As you can see, the hip is close to where poop lives and, ergo, where E. coli lives.

This puts the Predators in a conundrum, especially since Ryan Miller — who is leaving Buffalo as sure as the snows come every Labor Day — allegedly wants to go to California, just as every red-blooded American who isn’t creative enough to enjoy four seasons does.

Perhaps, though, Miller hasn’t heard the numerous references to Nashville being a low-rent version of L.A., as expressed in this awesome Jason & The Scorchers song:


And in this terrible late 90s garbage by Shawn Mullins: