Thursday Thirteen: Early Christmas Shopping Edition

by J.R.

Every Thursday we bring you the III Communication’s Conference III Power Rankings, the Thursday Thirteen.

This week, you’ll get a handle on early Christmas shopping.

1. Colorado Avalanche: Does one loss count as a swoon? A Statehouse Swoon? The Avs and Predators played a Center Ice special Wednesday — the kind of game that gets turned on for no other reason than it is all that’s happening, but ends up winning a Brilliancy Prize (Ed. note: Maybe I should start handing out weekly Brilliancy Prizes for particularly fun games or performances. BriIIIancy Prizes?)

2. Chicago Blackhawks: The Blackhawks’ win over Winnipeg in the Battle of the Lakes pushed them into a points tie with the Avs, though Colorado has a couple games in hand.

3. Hot & Spicy Cheez-Its: Looking for a cheap and easy Christmas gift for the snack and spice lover on your list? Pick-up a box of these bad boys at your favorite grocer:


They are perfect anxious binge-eating food during a nailbiting November game between Colorado and Nashville, in my opinion. But don’t take my word for it. Here’s what Amanda Guarneri of Ballston Spa, New York had to say:

I wasnt sure about how these would taste. I like spicy food,but wasn’t sure about spicy cheese its. They are the best,really good. If you like hot sauce you like these.

4. Minnesota Wild: The Wild have sort-of quietly stopped being sort-of disappointing and now they are sort-of the front-runner for Thomas Vanek this summer, people who have sort-of thought about it proclaim.

5. Carrie Underwood: Mike Fisher’s wife shows off the coolest gift for the Miley Cyrus wannabe puckhead on your list —

6. St. Louis Blues: It’s pretty incredible to think that the Blues — who have lost but twice — are fourth in the divisional standings. Not as incredible as the league giving them a whole week between games, but still wild.

7. Colonel Henry Wooldridge: Check out the colonel’s badass grave in lovely Mayfield, Kentucky —

World Famous Wooldridge Monuments Mayfield

My favorite part of this is that the colonel (he’s the one rendered in marble at center; everything else is in limestone) is the only one actually buried there. The other figures (kids, nieces, daughters-in-law, a deer, a fox and his two dogs) are just commemorated. The perfect gift for a family who needs remembering, but not burying.

8. Nashville Predators: It was “Don’t Scratch Me, Bro” night for the Preds Wednesday. Viktor Stalberg, Filip Forsberg and Gabby Bourque all got points.

9. Complete Auto Transit v. Brady: If you are at all interested in the apparently forthcoming “jock tax” case between the NHLPA and the State of Tennessee, familiarize yourself with the four-prong test established by the Supreme Court in this case. Some folks think it will form the argument made by the union’s lawyers:

  • Substantial nexus – connection between a state and a potential taxpayer clear enough to impose a tax.
  • Nondiscrimination – interstate and intrastate taxes should not favor one over the other.
  • Fair apportionment – taxation of only the apportionment of activity that transpires within the taxing jurisdiction.
  • Fair relationship to services provided by the state – company enjoys services such as police protection while in a state

10. Dallas Stars: Lindy Ruff wants Tyler Seguin to get mad and, we suspect, grumpy.

11. Helmet Dude: “Oh, crap! I forgot to get Johnny a Christmas present…oh, hey is that Adam Pardy?”

12. Winnipeg Jets: Not even a delightful win against Detroit can help.

13. NHL Robe Blanket Thing: I’d rather enjoy these if they were the vestments of some Holy Order instead of the actual worst things ever —