Thursday Thirteen: Drawn and Quartered

by J.R.

Every Thursday we bring you III Communication’s Conference III Power Rankings, the Thursday Thirteen.

This week, we’re a quarter of the way through.

1. St. Louis Blues: The Blues are at the top of numerous power rankings this week and with good reason: Ken Hitchcock’s guys are 14-3-3 with a boffo plus-23 goal differential. Mostly by virtue of only playing 20 games thus far, though, they are third in the Conference III standings.

2. William Lyon Mackenzie: The highest ranking ever for a Canadian on this august list, tomorrow marks the anniversary of the 1837 publishing of his call for a rebellion for Upper Canada. Perhaps the English should have seen this coming, since Mackenzie was reprinting Thomas Paine’s Common Sense in his newspaper (a newspaper he founded, rather symbolically, on July 4, 1836) and was publishing mock constitutions. He rallied support for his cause later in Buffalo, where people have, for centuries, been willing to attend anything with even a modicum of excitement attached to it, and then spent a few years in exile in New York City where he generated American interest in Canadian matters, a miracle so incredible he should be considered for sainthood. Eventually, the U.S. jailed him for violating neutrality laws and insulting Martin Van Buren. Don’t do that.


3. Chicago Blackhawks: The comprehensive shellacking by Nashville aside, the ‘Hawks are still quite good, having won seven of their last 10.

4. Loretta Lynn: The Coal Miner’s Daughter was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom this week. The Country Music Hall of Fame had a little trouble understanding:

Now, Loretta is a badass:

I just don’t think she “distinguished herself conspicuously by gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of her life above and beyond the call of duty.”

5. Minnesota Wild: The Wild are pretty good test case to how kookoobananas the West is —

6. Colorado Avalanche: Are the Avs calming a touch? Three losses to Carolina, St. Louis and Florida would suggest yes. A 5-1 win over Chicago, though? Maybe not.

7. Albania: Don’t know a lot about Albania, but I do know the way I pronounce “Toronto” is the same way I pronounce the capital city of Alabania “Tirana.” Being a Nashvillian, I tend to mutilate vowels. Facts about Albania:

  • Albania had king named Zog.
  • More than 40 percent of Albanians smoke
  • The oral folk law Kanun contains provisions for a form of vendetta called Gjakmarrja, which has become more prevalent since the fall of Communism.
  • Tie Domi and Aaron Palushaj are of Albanian extraction, as is Regis Philbin, the Belushis and Eliza Dushku.

8. Dallas Stars: The Stars really look like they are picking up steam. I wonder if Tyler Seguin is picking up his trash?

9. Drunken Dingbats: Let’s take a look at some arrest reports from the Chicago-Nashville game. All three of these had Chicago-area addresses and were seemingly part of this incident:


Nice popcorn save, bud. Here’s the three narratives:

arrest1 Screen shot 2013-11-18 at 10.54.19 PM Screen shot 2013-11-18 at 11.01.17 PM

And there’s this this (s/t Busted Coverage):

Don’t shoot vertical video, kids. That said, I know the backstory here as the women involved is my dear mother-in-law and the gentleman is her ex-firefighter, former Marine husband. My seats are across the aisle, behind the people shooting the video.

Headdress Guy was putting that headdress on the entire game, blocking the view of folks behind him. My mother-in-law asked him to remove it. He didn’t. The usher asked him to remove it. He didn’t. As the game progressed, Headdress Guy and his friends became increasingly lubricated and increasingly obscene. Now, I’m a Navy vet, so there’s a certain level of bad language I’ll tolerate, but this had gone far beyond that (into very descriptive C-words). Eventually, I contacted Fan Relations and a Metro police officer and some Bridgestone Arena security types were dispatched to keep Headdress from coming back to his seat. Now, midway through the third, Headdress hadn’t returned, and with the game now out of hand, we figured he wasn’t coming back (you can see the empty seats nearby, which had been occupied by mostly ‘Hawks fans). In fact, the very pleasant Chicagoans next to us had already gone into the Nashville night, armed with our bar recommendations.

The police and security people had left from the entrance (I learned later to respond to some active incidents in adjacent sections) and Headdress, lucky as drunks often are, happened back to the now-undefended section, stumbled up to my in-laws and, as the video clearly shows, initiated the incident, before running away.

I am not in this video as I had gone to find security. The guy who yells “Get him!” is TMurda, whose leg you can also see stepping over my (quite upset) wife holding our child. I came upon the scene as the quarrelers tumbled onto the concourse, where a few shots and lot of obscenities were exchanged. Eventually, Headdress Guy was kicked out.

Updated: There was some discussion on Reddit about this and I should note that three arrest narratives are from the same incident, but the Headdress Guy was a totally separate incident. The trio was arrested in the first intermission. Headdress lasted until nearly the end of the game.

10. Nashville Predators: How long can Marek “The Velvet Revolution” Mazanec keep it up? Contract Year David Legwand has been a wonderful surprise (4G-14A), did you know The Original Predator is fourth among American-born centers in points. You can look it up.

11. Jabara Airport: The Wichita airport got an unlikely visitor last night — a 747, for which its runway is really too small to handle:

“The tower was in contact with the pilot,” McConnell spokesman Stefan Bocchino said. They were the ones who told him where he landed. From what I understand, the guy just landed and had no clue where he was landing.”

Radio traffic between McConnell’s tower and the pilot indicated as much. Moments after the tower cleared the Dreamlifter to land, the air traffic controller told the pilot: “McConnell is nine miles south of you.”

Pilot: Yes, sir, we just landed at the other airport.”

Pilot: “Apparently, uh, we, uh have landed at (Beech Factory Airport, which is between McConnell and Jabara, just north of Kellogg and west of Webb Road).”

McConnell: “Verify. You are on the ground at Beech airport?”

Pilot: “We think so.”

McConnell: “. . .You are at Beech?”

Pilot: “Affirmative.”

McConnell: “Are you able to make an approach, correction, a departure off the airport and back in the air and to McConnell.”

Pilot: “We are working on those details, sir.”

It was soon sorted out that the plane was at Jabara.

Jabara’s runway length is 6,101 feet – almost half the length of McConnell’s runway. There were skid marks at the end of the runway where the Dreamlifter stopped at Jabara, which is near 37th Street North and Webb Road.

12. Winnipeg Jets: Sorry, Frigid-Airs. You can’t play Detroit every game.
13. True North Sports And Entertainment: Why do you hate fun?