Happy Hour In The Heptarchy: Mandarins and Michelada

by J.R.

It’s five past 5 across Conference III (leave work early, Colorado — you have our permission), time to hit bricks and get that freakin’ weekend started, am I right?

Of course I am.

It’s been a tough week for some of you so loosen your belt, pop a top, grab a spoon and stop being such a sourpuss. III Communication’s got good news for everybody.

The Particulars

4433879-very-fresh-mandarin-oranges-in-a-red-mesh-bagWhat We’re Eating: As autumn sets in, every marching band from Nunavut to Nuevo Laredo sets to the finest marching band tradition: selling boxes of citrus fruit.

By Christmas, the oranges and grapefruits and what have you will become the squash of the bleak midwinter (“How ’bout I send you home with some oranges? Tangerines? Here take a plastic grocery bag with some of everything!”

But now, it’s fine. Nobody’s tired of the citrus just yet. We’ll buy our five-pound bags of mandarin oranges and be excited that there’s a sweet, delicious and nutritious snack around the house.

We will eat this entire bag of mandarin oranges in two days. By the time the local clarinet player delivers our five boxes of citrus fruit, we’ll be so chock full of Vitamin C, we’ll be glowing like John Boehner.

100_1554What We’re Drinking: Part of the great appeal (ahem) of the citrus fruit is that its traditional arrival time — during autumn’s set-to — comes at a time when we all need one last grab at summertime and the bright flavors evoke sunnier days.

Thus it is with the michelada, one of the many cerveza preperada popular south of the border. There are endless varieties of the drink, all basically some mixture of beer, lime juice, spices and salt. Add some Worcestershire and it becomes a michelada cubana.

Make it as I did with High Life and datil pepper sauce and call it a michelada Lind (the last word pronounced the way Jose “Chico” Lind pronounced his surname, not in the harsh Celtic way of my family).

Reasons To Celebrate

Chicago: Not to terrify you or anything, but there are cougars up in northwest Illinois. And not the kind Patty Kane likes, either. Like, real cougars. Fortunately, the Field Museum found a new predatory dinosaur on a recent expedition in Utah so if this cougar situation gets out of hand, they can do a Jurassic Park thing to keep everyone safe. Siats Meekerorum shall inherit the earth.

Your Weekend Jam: “Walk The Dinosaur” by Was (Not Was)




Colorado: Congratulations, the first license to sell recreational marijuana was approved this week for Annie’s Central City Dispensary. Celebrate Ryan O’Reilly’s game-winner appropriately.

Your Weekend Jam: “Rocky Mountain Way” by Ween




Dallas: It’s all clicking down there for Tyler Seguin and Jamie Benn, Conference III’s Walt & Jesse. And, well, um, everybody’s got their eyes on you today, I guess. Not for any happy reason. So…uh, Prince Fielder?

Your Weekend Jam: “Moments in Love” by Art of Noise




Minnesota: Thank God winter weather, such as it is, is starting to strike across the country so Minnesota can engage in its favorite pastime: humblebragging and being obnoxious about how winter weather in other places is not real winter weather.

Your Weekend Jam: “Mall of America” by Desaparecidos




Nashville: So much America happening in Nashville — 19 points from USA-born players in the current three-game winning streak. Just revel in that.

Your Weekend Jam: “Real American” by Rick Derringer




St. Louis: Top of the pops this week, Blues. And if you get a license plate that’s marginally offensive, the state will get you a new one.

Your Weekend Jam: “License To Kill” by Gladys Knight




Winnipeg: Please make sure to include Ritz crackers in your child’s lunch or you’ll have to fork over $10, which goes farther than it used to.

Your Weekend Jam: “Puttin’ On The Ritz” by Taco