A Very Conference III Festivus

by J.R.

“Happy Festivus!”
“George, this is a surprise; who’s the suit?”

We asked, you answered and the submissions are in.

Have you seen the pole, Kruger?

The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of IIIvances.

I took all the votes from fans of all seven teams (and from the handful of outsiders), averaged each fanbase’s votes, added ’em all up to determine who gets hated the most.

“I got a lot of problems with you people and now, you’re going to hear about it.”

From least to most:

7. Nashville Predators

Shea-Weber-fined-for-hit-Zetterberg-OK-BL19TP5B-x-large“There are only two thing more revolting than mustard: mustard on a hockey jersey, and a hockey jersey made of mustard. As if that weren’t enough, Nashville has become a modest yet sustainable success of the 90’s southern expansion project, so they make Gary Bettman look good. And that is unforgivable.”— Jason McAdams

“You’re a weird group, Nashville. You’ve worn both Grey Poupon and French’s Yellow mustard colored jerseys. Your logo has a terrible overbite. Your fans seem FOLKSY and POLITE. You’re an odd blend of overachieving-while-underachieving. You spent years throwing a scare into Detroit, and for that I salute you, but it’s time for you to go away and suck for awhile. Also, please trade Shea Weber to Philadelphia already, it’s like if Jennifer Aniston had somehow been able to match Angelina Jolie’s ‘offer sheet’ to Brad Pitt.” — Anthrax Jones

“Nashville is meant to be Music City but the Bridgestone on gameday sounds like a cross between a bad mid-90’s club in Budapest and a rodeo in [Poopkicker] County. Seriously, when it’s Powerplay time I have to resist the urge to jump up on a table and start blowing a whistle while reaching for the lasers. And then a home goal gets scored (this does happen occasionally) and we are treated to first Tim McGraw, the man who is to good Country Music what Barret Jackman is to Quality Hockey, then a seamless segue into Convicted Child Molester Gary Glitter’s ‘Rock & Roll Part 2’ complete with moronic ‘You suck’ chanting. It’s vile, especially when Jason & the Scorchers have approximately 1,561 songs that would be much cooler.” — Mighty Mike D

“It’s a Love/Hate thing. Depends on the week and the stupidity on the ice. … Trotz and his insistence to play 12 ‘Bottom Six’ guys. Trotz and his uncanny knack to destroy the confidence of any young scorer. … Bridgestone Arena for [poutining] with the time-honored traditional poutine recipe.” — John Couture

“I love my team, but my God do they infuriate me on a regular basis, for years and years. On any given night I can hate this team with every fiber of my being, or be ready to give Barry Trotz my firstborn son.” — RobertFromTN

“I love my team to death, but [dagnabit] they’re frustrating to watch sometimes (and even more frustrating to make heads or tails of Trotz’s decisions). … Barry Trotz – Please tell me you’re choosing your lines based on some sort of blind-folded lottery, because … damn. Clune getting ice time over anyone (ANY – ONE) when Matt Hendricks is already on your team is ridiculous. Also: Dump and Chase – you have a place in modern hockey. That place is not every time the puck enters the neutral zone. Enough said. Rich Clune – You are an inspirational human being, but if you’re going to be a hockey player score more than one goal and WIN more than one fight in 34 games. The Nashville Media (oh yeah) – for allowing your professional sports teams to go without the necessary (or, perhaps more accurately, any real) scrutiny.” — DTTI

“They beat your team and you don’t understand why and it makes people fill up with hatred.” — Brad
“Most of the hate here comes from hockey being misplaced in a southern market (which it totally is) and not the Predators franchise in particular.” — ES

“The only problem is that your management’s roots are a bit too Caps-y.” — Josh C

“What kind of assclown franchise doesn’t recognize the guy breaking the American goal scoring record? Oh, the kind that kept Jordin Tootoo around. Never mind. It all makes sense now. Carry on.” — Alex Whose Comment Was So Riddled With Obscenities WordPress Blocked It

6. Winnipeg Jets

December-14-2013-Jets-Stars-16“Just because you moved to the hinterlands and stuffed your minor-league arena with a bunch of discount-store Cameron Crazies doesn’t change the fact that you’re still the Thrashers. I hope you lose every game.” — Josh C

“People want to root for the little guy but then they do goalie catcalls and the wave and it’s like ‘come on guys, what the hell?'” — ES

“A blow-in from the old South-Least Division, I can’t really say I hate Winnipeg much for obvious reason, but I do dislike how they’re dragging the good III name through the mud by being terrible.” — James Henderson

“I’d hate them, except I want them so badly to succeed. For the fans guys, come on. Winnipeg waited so long to get a team back, don’t make them keep waiting to get a good team back.” — Davey’s Suitcase

“Have they relocated back to Atlanta yet?” — John Couture
“Who hates the Washington Generals?” — Brad
“I don’t even know who these guys are.” — Robert
“Like the free square in bingo. No one hates the free square.” — Stonecutter

“So, the Jets have this wonderful tradition of booing the opposition’s best player in order to ‘put them off their game.’ I have a couple of issues with this behaviour:
1) How can a person who has to watch the Atlanta Thrashers 2: The Frostbite Years night in, night out have any idea of what a ‘Good’ Hockey player looks like?  ‘Look, Gordie, that guy managed to skate twenty feet without falling over! BOOOO!!’

2) Even if such a tactic succeeded there are still another 18 players out there for the opposition who are better than the Jets . They’ll get it done, you snowbound cretins.” — Mighty Mike

“I actually feel bad for Jets fans, because their team sucks even worse than mine at home.” — Christian Hamilton
“Hating the Jets is like hating the homeless guy eating out of a dumpster. The Jets’ roster is 95% of what the Blackhawks left sitting on their plates at the end of a fancy meal. Andrew Ladd is chicken left on the bone. Michael Frolik is cold Chef Boyardee ravioli. Dustin Byfuglien is a bread heel. Enjoy your [fecesey] dinner, Mole People, the rest of us will be dining indoors.” — Thraxy

“Shouting ‘true north’ during the anthem, Gary Lawless, hating Evander Kane, thinking Ondrej Pavelec is an NHL goalie, and pretending you aren’t the Thrashers are just a few of the reasons Winnipeg is the most hated team of Conference III.” — Will Crist

“should be in #America” — Cornelius Hardebagh

“Winnipeg is to Canada what Donald Trump is to rich egomaniacs – a personification of a stereotype which is so unironically heavy that you can’t help but say its name without curling the corners of your mouth in a smirk. Seriously, try it. Also, Canada hasn’t won a World Junior gold medal since before Barack Obama was inaugurated. I rest my case.” — J-Mac

5. Colorado Avalanche


“Aside from their fans’ revisionist history about the Johnson-Shattenkirk trade and anger with Chris Stewart for fighting a guy who had just tried to take out his knee, the Avs just annoy me. I’d be lying if I said that the 2001 Western Finals didn’t have anything to do with it, but that’s hardly the end of it. Their uniforms are ugly, their fans didn’t even have to go through an entire year before being rewarded with a Cup, and Patrick Roy. Yuck.” — J-Mac

“Patrick Roy is still the worst.” — Will Crist

“I don’t have much of a problem with this group yet. I wasn’t a hockey fan when they were successful and anger-inducing. Sometimes they’re fun to watch. Especially with Patrick Roy. Although they also have an annoying announcer – HERE COME THE STARS INTO THE OFFENSIVE ZONE BENN WITH A SHOT score.” — Hamilton

“Bieber hatred right here. Young, talented, not going away. Bieber hate.” — Stonecutter
“It’d be nice if they remembered that they’re not supposed to play good for a few years yet.” — Robert
“Huh? Patrick Roy didn’t spontaneously combust yet? Can we put the Broncos here instead?” — Couture

“It’s a little bit of jealousy, sure, seeing as the Stars and ‘Lanche were both predicted to be bubble teams at best, and instead Colorado had the best start in the league. There’s a bit of old rivalry holdover too, from the days when Colorado and Dallas ruled the Western Conference. But mainly it’s just because Patrick Roy is a douchebag.” — Davey’s Suitcase

“Patrick Roy’s handling of the Varlamov ‘incident’ did not win him many fans outside the Denver area. Also probably a lot of bitter Quebecois.” — ES

“I’m sure you’ll be more hated once you start making noise in the playoffs again and Roy has a few more meltdowns, but right now your fumbling Bambi-legged steps toward competence are too cute to hate.” — Josh C

“My team would have ranked much higher on the hate scale before they brought back The Greatest Goalie Who Ever Lived to run the on-ice show, and The Greatest Captain Who Ever Lived to run the off-ice show. Joe Sacco ate his own boogers. Tyler Aranson spent time on our roster. Why are we not #7? FIX THE FRIGGIN UNIFORMS.” — Thraxy

“you weren’t supposed to be good this year, [anuses]. Move aside and tell that douchebag Varlamov to [oh dear].” – Obscene Alex

4. Dallas Stars


“It’s the desperate way that they’re trying to hype up a rivalry with the Hawks based on Antoine Roussel being a cheap-shotting [poopheel].  The Hawks have played against Vancouver, St Louis and just won a Cup Final against the Bruins. Those are entire rosters full of cheap-shotting [poopheels]. But nice try, Dallas, bless your little cotton socks and your idiot QB who couldn’t get it done against effing Green Bay. Thanks for that.” — Mighty Mike

“I want to yell at our powerplay every day. Other teams make it look easy – we can’t even get into the zone. But there’s much less to complain about this year. The defense has been better than recent years, both goalies are playing well, the young kids are stellar, Tyler Seguin, Tyler Seguin, Tyler Seguin. Although they’ve lost all four games I’ve been to this year which isn’t thrilling – especially after the most recent game, which they called their worst of the year. YOU CAN’T PLAY A GAME WITH NO ENERGY AT HOME YOU MUST GIVE YOUR FANS AT LEAST SOME EFFORT. Oh, and Big Val’s pretty good too.” — Hamilton

“You’re Ken Hitchcock, you’re Derian Hatcher, you’re Craig Ludwig, you’re Brett Hull wearing #22. Richard Matvichuk invented ‘throw the puck over the glass’ as a defensive play. Kicking your asses in the 2004 and 2006 playoffs was a pleasure, but it still wasn’t enough. You made BUFFALO fans sympathetic characters, for chrissakes. Norm Green sucks, but not for screwing Minnesota over. Norm Green sucks for not folding the franchise altogether. Go to hell, Dallas.” — Thraxy
“First, having a pregame concert for every home game outside the arena is a nice idea.  You get people excited (I’m assuming; I have no idea who the band is or if they’re any good) and maybe you catch the attention of some people who weren’t planning on attending the game.  Good work being proactive and fostering a positive environment for potential fans.  Unfortunately, this only highlights the myriad of problems you have during the actual game.  Poor Daryl Reaugh looks like a hostage being forced to read a list of demands while explaining icing every single game.  Maybe this changed with the new icing rules this season.  If so, congratulations on removing the fan training wheels after 20 years.  To the fans I verbally berated for booing a (properly) called icing 10 seconds after this video played last season, I still hate you and mean every word I said.   Also, Dallas, you took an excellent Jurassic Park clip and completely misused it.  It’s the second intermission, the arena goes completely dark, Richard Attenborough appears on the jumbotron asking Laura Dern to pump up the primer handle, dramatic music plays in the background, tension is high, fans are on the edge of their seats, the green button is pushed and out comes…the Dallas Stars Ice Girls? YOU WASTED A JURASSIC PARK CLIP ON ICE GIRLS?!?  It’s been 9 months and I’m still angry about this.  Get your in-game act together Dallas.  Let’s end on a positive note and commend Dallas for putting together a green jersey that doesn’t make hockey fans collectively ask ‘why?’ when they first see it.” — Will Crist

“Shoulda bought stock in Stars hate now that there is a BLOOD DEBT owed by Roussel to Chicago” — Stonecutter
“Who did they think they were, offering Brett Hull a No-Trade Clause?” – JMac
“should be in Minnesota, dammit. Never should have left.” — CH
“Took the North Stars, hockey fans never forget.” — ES
“Hull’s foot is still in the [hulling] crease!” — Couture

“There has been a long running semi-rivalry that’s been brewing for years between the Preds and Stars, and it’s about to seriously blow up. (Until Dickey gets his statue)” — Robert
“Chambers Pot.” — DTTI

“Dallas have shown glimpses of brilliance this season – but that’s all they are. Threero to some, villain to Chicago, Antoine Roussel is a lot of the reason they’re so high up the charts, but my envy of Tyler Seguin is also a factor in this. And also Kari Lehtonen because HOLY [POOP].” — James Henderson

“Would have been ranked higher if I had remembered they were a team.” — Brad

3. Minnesota Wild


“I see you, Wild. You can’t just employ ass warts like Cooke and Rupp then play credible hockey and think I won’t notice. It’s only a matter of time before you do something stupid and the hate covers you like a pile of coats.” — Stonecutter

“Matt Cooke is wearing Derek Boogaard’s number. It’s a [cooking] travesty and feels disrespectful to the dead.
Matt Cooke is still in the league
Matt Cooke is not a burnt pile of ash” — CH

“two disgusting words: Ryan Suter” — Robert
“See: Suter.” — DTTI
“Ryan Suter, Zack Parise.” — Brad
“Minnesota is just a worthless state and should be annexed to Canada. Also known as Michigan’s hat. Oh and Ryan Suter. I don’t give a [rip] why you want to go back to Minnesota, just tell someone and don’t bend us over so that we get [poop] in return.” — Couture

“I fell in love with a girl from Minnesota once. Didn’t pan out, but ahh, the memories…” — Suitcase

“It’s the jerseys. The jerseys (please make that green script jersey your primary home, pleasepleaseplease), the reasonably smart moves by the GM, the Josh Harding Overcoming All The Odds fairytale, the beating Dallas on the last day of the season to let the Blackhawks into the playoffs in 2011… Chicago Remembers.” — James Henderson

“If this team ever gets good, I expect them to shoot to the top of people’s most hated list” — ES
“You’re the po-faced quasi-Canadian puck cult of American hockey, which would be OK if I hadn’t walked out of your arena wondering whether any of you were aware that hockey existed outside your state. Solipsism is a bad thing for a fanbase.” — JoshC

“The Wild have been around since 2000 and I don’t think I’ve ever watched a game they’ve played in without falling asleep. They tried to change that by signing Zach Parise and Ryan Suter, but all they did was singlehandedly cause a league-wide work stoppage – which, in fairness, was an upgrade in entertainment value from their previous season. More than that, however, is their fans’ superiority complex. St. Louis Cardinals fans get a lot of shit for calling themselves the ‘Best Fans in Baseball,’ and anyone who takes Detroit’s ‘Hockeytown’ moniker seriously has never actually looked at the crowds in Joe Louis Arena, but those things are nothing next to naming yourself ‘The State of Hockey.’ And entire state that thinks it’s better than the rest? Who do they think they are, California? Despite all of those reasons, I’m still left with near apathy towards the Wild. Which infuriates me to no end.” — JMac

“I have no feelings, positive or negative, toward the Wild.  To be perfectly honest, I forgot they existed.  They are as bland as their uniforms.  They are so irrelevant that they cannot elicit a response, despite my best efforts to find a reason to hate them.  Boring uniforms, boring state, boring style of play, boring stars.” — Crist

“It could be easy to hate this team with their splurge on Parise and Suter, but it’s still impossible cause they’ve never won anything. And they have Josh Harding – if you dislike Josh Harding you dislike humanity. And after getting rid of Cal Clutterbuck, there’s even less reason to hate this team.” — Hamilton

“What is it with Wild players and their names? They have the single largest collection of dumb and/or made-up monikers around. Jared Spurgeon should, by rights, be either a terrifying fighter or the quickest player in the NHL after the experience of attending school with that handle. Nate Prosser is depriving a Louis L’Amour novel of a second-rate bad guy. Marco Scandella has nice shoes. Zach Parise can’t even pronounce his own bloody surname correctly and what the hell is a ‘Mike Rupp’? Last but not least, their team name makes absolutely no sense. I’d like them to drop ‘The’ and add an adverb; ‘Quite Wild’ for instance.” — Mighty Mike

“I’m so sick and tired of hearing you complain about Dallas ‘stealing’ your team, you whiny [Minnesotans]. Take that and your boring hockey style and shove it up your keister and then pull it out, stuff it in your pipe, and smoke it.” — Obscene Alex

“Ask 100 random hockey fans what they think of when you say the words ‘Minnesota Wild’, and 100 random hockey fans will shrug because the Minnesota Wild are the most irrelevant organization in North American pro sports. ‘Minnesota Wild’ sounds more like a Bob Ross painting than a hockey team. Your logo is a BEAR, until it’s not, and it’s a nature scene. The Minnesota North Stars meant something: they were dignified, if not terribly successful. They had a personality, they were interesting. The Minnesota Wild are a generic team loved by generic fans in a generic market where the NHL team is a distant 3rd behind college and high school hockey teams. The Wild exist because they have to, not because they deserve to. You are owned by a man who committed $196 million to two players, then promptly helped spearhead a lockout to break the contracts he had just signed in good faith. There’s nothing redeeming about this franchise or the 17,954 people who care about it.

You also ended Patrick Roy’s career. You’re Charles Guiteau, Gavrilo Princip, Sirhan Sirhan, Lee Harvey Oswald, James Earl Ray: nobodies who ended a Somebody. For that, you’re condemned. If I had a Festivus Pole, I’d plant it in the heart of the entire Wild fan base. Your continued irrelevancy sustains me, your continued mediocrity nourishes me.” — Thraxy

2. St. Louis Blues


“If I need to explain why the St Louis Blues are the itchiest, scabbiest rash on the taint of Hockey, then you’ve either just started watching Hockey this week or are a St Louis fan and sadly I can’t dumb this down to your level without slamming my head in the refrigerator door twelve or thirteen times. So here’s a picture (above). ” — Mighty Mike

“Might as well be Dallas 2.0 at this point. Annoying goal horn, annoying announcers, annoying players.” — Hamilton

“Toronto takes lots of crap for not winning a Stanley Cup since 1967, but they have company. The Blues are the ONLY member of the 1967 expansion class to not have won a Stanley Cup, and that’s a good thing, because their fans would steal it and pawn it for drug money. The Blues won the newly formed division made up of expansion teams for three consecutive years between 1968 and 1970, and promptly were tenderized in the Finals three consecutive times. It set the stage for a recurring theme in Blues history: ‘this is our year this is our year my god this is our year THIS IS OUR YEAR THISISOURYEARTHISISOURYEARRRRR awwww man.’ It’s almost more fun watching you build yourselves up year after year expecting championship glory and getting Lucy’d in the playoffs by eventual-champion rivals from Chicago, Detroit, and Colorado as it would be watching you stink every year. The Blues are a special kind of awful, because they really shouldn’t be awful, and they aren’t awful…until it matters. They should change their name to the Blueballs, because that’s what they’ve given their fan base for 46 years. I’d say their fan base deserves better, but they don’t.” — Thraxy

“I think we all know how terrible St. Louis is.  Well, maybe not Barret Jackman.” — Crist
“Who did we think we were, not offering Brett Hull a No-Trade Clause?” — JMac

“if there’s anything people hate more than a successful team, it’s a team that carries itself and is treated like a successful team without actually being one (cough Knicks cough)” — ES

“I never used to have any hate whatsoever for the Blues, but now I don’t much like their stupid faces. This has nothing to do with the drastic improvement in the team.” — Robert

And finally…

1. Chicago Blackhawks


“The Rich Kids Camp across the lake of ConferenceIII. Saving grace is #GreatAmerican Patrick Kane. Which tells you something about the rest of their dumb team that smells and probably eats crayons.” — Cornelius H

“From their thousands of fans who all conveniently woke up from a 13-year coma in 2009 to that infernal, obnoxious noise they call a goal song to that showboating arrogant lady-choking man-child who can’t hold his alcohol Kandy Kane, you will never find a more wretched hide of scum and villainy.

Plus they actually win enough to make Corey Crawford look like a decent goalie, which is the most offensive thing of all.

But in all seriousness, any Chicago fan who booed Mike Smith during 2012 playoffs for having the gall to be shouldered in the head by Andrew Shaw and wanting to make sure he didn’t have a serious concussion is the absolute lowest of the low, and they’re the type of fans who are the reason there are so many serious and potentially life-threatening long term brain injuries in this sport. After all, I had no idea that there were 20,000 people in Chicago capable of diagnosing a concussion from hundreds of yards away – the NHL should hire them, instead of these ‘doctors’ with their ‘years of medical training’ who seem to have trouble properly doing it within inches.” — Jmac

“Chicago shamed Patrick Kane into being a responsible adult and ruined all our fun.” — Will Crist

“Your goal song can go jump in a lake, and I plan on puking Malort all over your city when I visit in March.” — Thraxy

“There is literally not a thing to like about this team. With a man who looks like a pedophile for a coach, a criminal for a player wearing 88, way too many names that start with B, and poop for a fanbase (including like 10000 in Dallas who got tired of the Chicago cold and decided they could take over Dallas and go to all the Chicago/Dallas games and ruin them completely.) And a really annoying announcer.” — Hamilton

“There’s a whole crowd of mouthbreathers in the Chicago fanbase who actually believe that the Hawks not (yet) beating St Louis or Colorado in the first half of the season somehow dooms this title defence. Please stop encouraging them.”— Mighty Mike

“Having Chicago fans in your city is like dealing with Detroit fans minus the tact and respect.” — Robert

“The fans suck. The city smells. But I dig The Blues Brothers, so there’s that.” — Couture
“I’m seriously sick of seeing the American Airlines Center look like a Christmas party whenever the Blackhawks come to town. … Come on guys. I know it’s unheard of to see a Frenchman who fights, and people are afraid of the unknown, but uniqueness needs to be embraced. And seriously Chicago, were you not entertained?” — Suitcase

“Recent success masks the 40+ years of futility preceding it, but it doesn’t wipe it out of the history books all together, pretending it does definitely makes people hate you more.” — ES

“Any non-‘Original’ ‘6’ (which was neither) team whose fanbase abandoned them the way Chicago did during the end of the Bill Wirtz era would have lost their team and been scorned just as badly as the Thrashers. All the pink and green jerseys your drunken bandwagoneers buy now can’t erase those memories. Also, you’re too damn good. There’s only one reason to root for you, and that was that in last year’s Finals, if you hadn’t won, Boston would have. Screw that.” — JoshC

“a lot of fans supporting Chicago are smug, band-wagoning bastards. This is a team that in the not too distant past was terrible and had no fans. Then, they go and win a Cup and all of a sudden [smuggin] everyone is a Blackhawks fan. Well good for you, asshats. Where the hell were you when they sucked? Get out of my building, band-wagoner. Also, the national media always has a raging Viagra-induced hard-on for these guys, too, and it’s enough to make you ill when you have to listen to it during a nationally broadcast game… there are two teams playing, jerk offs.” — Obscene Alex

But wait there’s more:

You people didn’t just hate teams, you hated lots of things. Here’s other things you grieved about: Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, Henrik Lundqvist, James Van Riemisdzefqef [sic],  Carey Price, Karri Ramo, Derek Roy, Ralph Strangis, Buffalo Sabres, NHL Stadium Series, Jack Edwards, Blackhawks fans, Kings fans, everyone, the NHL, Doc Emrick, David Poile, Jim Nill, Lindy Ruff, the potential Las Vegas expansion team for probably getting put in Conference III, Joel Quenneville for playing Sheldon Brookbank at forward, Brandon Bollig, hybrid icing, Steve Downie, Blackhawks fans (again?), Barry Melrose’s hair, Lane Lambert’s hair, the Florida Panthers, HBO, Sean Avery, the east and its multitudinous patsies.

And Now As Festivus Rolls On We Come To The III-eats Of Strength

From the submitted nominations, I have selected the Best Feat of Strength for every team.

Chicago Blackhawks

“I had a list of 4 or 5 feats of strength ready for this, but everything pales in comparison to the Chicago Blackhawks holiday video.  I could watch Marian Hossa yell ‘Bueller’ for hours.” — William Crist


Colorado Avalanche

“Patrick Roy for being AWESOME” — Christian Hamilton

Dallas Stars

Many, many of you submitted this:


Minnesota Wild

“Ryan Suter playing Bure-in-Florida-esque minutes for Minnesota.”  — Cornelius Hardebaugh.

But Will Crist has some thoughts:


Let me say that again, TWENTY NINE MINUTES AND THIRTY EIGHT SECONDS.  That’s the average ice time for Ryan Suter.  Ryan Suter, USA Olympian.

I couldn’t believe it was actually that high.  Do you know what Mike Yeo is not?  A proud American patriot.  I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that Mike Yeo, Canadian infiltrator, has decided to play Ryan Suter, a likely top pair defenseman for Team USA, a full 2:21 above his previous high for TOI/G.  I would suggest Yeo will be punished for this nefarious tactic, but there is a good chance he will no longer be employed by the time this is posted.  Good riddance.

Nashville Predators

“When the Predators’ plane hit a bird and was going down, Seth Jones transformed into a majestic bald eagle and was able to safely transport the entire team to safety on the ground. So much more American than Brandon Saad can ever be.” — Robert


St. Louis Blues

“Alex Steen: for making all Maple Leafs fans extremely angry. I know a lot of them and they’re not happy.” — Christian Hamilton


Winnipeg Jets

The Jets’ greatest accomplishment this year is forcing everyone to learn the French “O Canada” to stop that yelling of the “True North”:


Tonight’s Games

Wild at Flyers (6:30P)
Devils at Blackhawks (7P)
Bruins at Predators (7P)
Blues at Flames (7P)
Jets at Oilers (8:30P)
Stars at Kings (9:30P)
Avalanche at Sharks (8:30P Mountain/9:30P Central)

Have a wonderful Christmas. We’ll see you after the break — when Colorado gets its first shot at the Conference III Championship Belt.