Thursday Thirteen: Final Fortnight Forthcoming

by J.R.

Every Thursday we bring you III Communication’s Conference III Power Rankings, the Thursday Thirteen.

This week, we’ve got two weeks left (more or less).


1. St. Louis Blues: Though the Blues wear the Crown of Fecal Matter (for now), they are still the class of Conference III (for now).

2. Norman Borlaug: Norman Borlaug was honored this week with a statue from his home state of Iowa (a good Conference III state) in Statuary Hall in the U.S. Capitol. And why should you care about Norman Borlaug? Because he’s awesome forever:

The Iowa native and University of Minnesota graduate is credited with saving as many as 1 billion people from hunger by creating a type of wheat that was disease-resistant and high-yielding. His work won him the 1970 Nobel Prize, the Presidential Medal of Freedom and the Congressional Gold Medal.

3. Chicago Blackhawks: Maybe they should be ranked Number Two-vo? OK bye.

4. Moolah Shrine Circus Elephants: Not even pachyderms in a third-rate circus want to stay in St. Louis:

Authorities say three elephants escaped from their handlers at a circus near St. Louis and damaged several vehicles in the parking lot before they were recaptured.

Television station KMOV reports that the female elephants escaped from the the children’s ride section of the Moolah Shrine Circus at the Family Arena in St. Charles.

5. Colorado Avalanche: DYK: Nathan MacKinnon is having a good rookie season?

6. Guys in fox heads in Dallas: Cool.

7. Minnesota Wild: In the Land of 10,000 Humblebrags, people are getting restless due to the Wild’s poor play of late, which is silly now and will be extra silly when the Fightin’ Adjectives win the first wild card by 10 points.

8. Salmon Patties: How many salmon patties is too many? If it’s eight or fewer than I went overboard last night. Didn’t have any breadcrumbs, so I had to use oats as a binder, which worked out fine and had the added benefit of being extra nutritious, which is something I really care about.

9. Dallas Stars: The Stars have entered the dirty final dozen of the schedule and, in the last few years, that’s been not-so-good for them.

10. This poor fool in Calgary: A shirt so vile that it prompted an on-air apology from Preds broadcaster Pete Weber.



11. Nashville Predators: The Preds are 2-0-1 in their last three and the one was one they should have won. Also, Calle Jarnkrok is a point-per-game player in the NHL. Filip Forsberg? Not so much.

12. Winnipeg Jets: Back in their usual 12-spot. Feels right.

13. Mr. Jingles: Good Lord.