Thursday Thirteen: The Way You Always Criticize Brand New

by J.R.

Every Thursday we bring you III Communication’s Conference III Power Rankings, the Thursday Thirteen.

This week’s is the first song for your mixtape. It’s short just like your temper:

1. Nashville Predators: Standings don’t lie.

2. Chicago Blackhawks: Don’t use the shootout to inflate your record if you want to be first.

3. The Kansas City Royals

4. Minnesota Wild: Belt champs, but let’s see what happens when they have to play someone besides Colorado

5. Lower Broadway: I’ll be at Bettman’s press conference in Nashville tomorrow announcing the 2016 All-Star Game. Expect to see y’all here that mid-winter.

6. Dallas Stars: This doesn’t mean “Sixth Best Team in NHL History.”

7. National Microbiology Labratory: Good job, Winnipeg

8. St. Louis Blues: Is the Blues schedule always really weird and disjointed in the early going?

9. Angela Lansbury: It’s the future Edmonton Oilers’ coach’s birthday today. Three cheers to a talented actress, thankless penalty killer and generous lover.

10. Colorado Avalanche: How has Patrick Roy not exploded yet?

11. The Rats of Chicago: Gross.

12. Winnipeg Jets: Winnipeg: Can stop Ebola. Can’t stop pucks.

13. Boss’s Day: What an absurd holiday this is. Almost as absurd as 1) me not paying off that Brand New joke in the headline and 2) the belief that all sportswriters must love Bruce Springsteen. Here’s Jesse Lacey covering “Thunder Road.”