IIIiteracy: 13 April 2013

by J.R.

A recap of today’s Conference III action with help from the geniuses at SportsYapper:

Colorado 4, Vancouver 3: The best part of Sports Yapper, if there is a best part is sequences like this. As the game clocks dives below 10 seconds, a guy wonders if Colorado has a chance. Why yes, they do! But apparently, it doesn’t matter, because Colorado isn’t very good historically against Vancouver. And of course: the ironic Colorado offsides yap.

Dallas 2, San Jose 1: No, they aren’t.

Columbus 3, Minnesota 2 (SO): No Wild yapping. But keep the people of Yap in your thoughts: they had a little earthquake last week.

IIIiteracy: 19 March 2013

by J.R.

A recap of tonight’s Conference III action with help from the geniuses at SportsYapper:

Columbus 4, Nashville 3 : As has been their modus operandi, the Predators fell behind and then scored some hope goals late to make it interesting — maybe Bobrovsky should have waited to hit those salts — and even earning the end-of-game icing face-off that gives a team just a little smidgen of a chance. But no. Fourth straight loss. Sadly, there was no yapping from Columbus fans (Rust Belters too old to use the Internet?) or Nashville fans (drinking pure-grain alcohol?). But here’s some hot news from Yap: A Danish company was awarded a big solar contract there.

Winnipeg 3, Boston 1 : Our Canadian cousins did their duty in their effort to bring the Southeast flag to Conference III (where they belong), scoring twice in under a minute to erase the lead of 2013-14 Rust Division champion Boston. Former Bruin and future Conference III envy-object Blake Wheeler had a pair. The Yapper devolved into the typical dispute about classiness. Who is classy? Where is classy? This guy is too funny and too smart to yap. This Yapper is just right.

Vancouver 3, St. Louis 2 : What indeed? The Towel Spinners took a page from their once and future rivals the Predators with some hope goals, but this one was never in doubt, really. One particularly enjoyable sequence — if you like fancy-pants Pacific hockey — took place late in the game with the Canucks protecting a lead. The referees signaled a delayed penalty and Vancouver held the puck for a full minute, zipping passes through the four corners, pleasing the spirit of Dean Smith during these, his high holy days. Some Blues fans were amazed like this guy and this one. This guy got mad and so did his buddy. This guy almost hurt himself watching and this one resigned. And this yapper put the blame for the Blues being unable to secure possession firmly where it belonged: on the Canucks.