III Communication

Covering The NHL's Conference III Better Than Anyone On The Whole Internet. Like Ma Bell, We Got The III Communication

Tag: Greg Sherman

[Redacted]: Hockey Is Finally Here

by obscenealex

Welcome back, [poultry fetishists].  Teams from other divisions played yesterday, but [ignore] them.  Today marks the first day of the real NHL regular season.  To mark this momentous occasion, join me for a review of the teams that make our beloved Conference III a special division—a Great Divide—separating it from the Flortheast, the Californian, and the Metropolitan, where division name jokes write themselves.  As J.R. so eloquently pointed out yesterday, it is our division that both unites us and divides us, and since he chose to focus on the former, I will examine the latter in the form of crass, brash, and morally distasteful power rankings.

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Thursday Thirteen: Stop Hibernating, We’re Halfway Home

by J.R.

Every Thursday we bring you III Communication’s Conference III Power Rankings, the Thursday Thirteen.

This week, we’re on the downhill side.

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33 Predictions For 2013 & Programming Notes

by J.R.

I made these standings predictions over at Second City Hockey, but we’ll repeat them here for posterity ahead of the beginning of Conference III:

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Regressing To The Mean: The 2013 Off-Season and Conference III’s Rude Awakening

by J.R.

themanwhoshotlibertyvalanceposter“This is the West, sir. When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.” — Maxwell Scott (Carleton Young) in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence

In the four months since III Communication opened for business, we’ve variously described Conference III as a collection of raccoons, prison, a gang fightBattle of the Network Stars meets The Running Man, Hell, a structure of steel and human sinew and dinosaur bones, forged and melted in the very fires of Phlegethon, and a Joy Division song.

The allegorical and metaphorical intent was clear — Conference III would be the world’s largest Thunderdome, stretching across a large section of North America. Because of geography, because of the nature of the teams and cities involved, because of their history, it was easy to appropriate the mythos of the American frontier and the Old West and imagine Conference III’s future as an echo of a past — as a sort of lawless id of a hockey division.

And then the offseason happened and the legend became fact.

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Happy Hour In The Heptarchy: Pasties & Scrumpy

by J.R.

It’s five past 5 across Conference III (leave work early, Colorado — you have our permission), time to hit bricks and get that freakin’ weekend started, am I right?

Of course I am.

It’s been a tough week for some of you so loosen your belt, pop a top, grab a spoon and stop being such a sourpuss. III Communication’s got good news for everybody.

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It All Trolls Downhill: Just What The Heck Are The Avs Up To?

by J.R.

Never in their history have the Colorado Avalanche been so perfectly named.

An avalanche is nature’s great example of the law of conservation of energy. Energy cannot be created nor can it be destroyed; it can be converted from one form to another — potential energy to kinetic. Pent up momentum released by one movement — a wall of snow rushes downhill, sweeping up all in its path in a horrifying, irresistible cold terror.

This week, Colorado Avalanche executive vice-president of hockey operations Joe Sakic kicked a rock at the top of the mountain.

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