III Communication

Covering The NHL's Conference III Better Than Anyone On The Whole Internet. Like Ma Bell, We Got The III Communication

Tag: John Tortorella

The [Redacted] Week in Review: Goalie Edition

by obscenealex

Welcome to the [Redacted] Week in Review, [darling readers].  I’m your host, Obscene Alex.  Let’s get down to business.  This week, with a couple of exceptions, our topic is going to be goaltending.

Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Thirteen: Getting Torched

by J.R.

Every Thursday we bring you III Communication’s Conference III Power Rankings, the Thursday Thirteen.

This week, all eyes on Sochi.

Read the rest of this entry »

DemocraThree: 17 January 2014

by J.R.

demothree

Today, we debut a new weekly feature here at III Communication — DemocraThree. Every Friday, bloggers from around The Heptarchy will update us on the news and notes from their teams (with that fancy header image courtesy of Mike D and like democracy itself, it’s a perpetual work-in-progress). Yes, we ripped this off from TRH’s Pacific War Room; no, we don’t care. And since we ripped it off, we’ll follow their lead and go in standings order.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Metropolitan Division is Stupid and Ugly and Dumb

by J.R.

tenby-mystery-beast-1-510x600-1361996047The NHL’s Metropolitan Division is a complete wasteland, devoid of any meaning or usefulness.

It is a hotbed of sin and horror. It is where good hockey withers away like a collapsing factory in a service-based economy — or like a service-based economy in a world of consumerism. It is so bad that all economic metaphors apply to it equally, even ones that are complete opposites.

It’s so bad it’s awfulness was unpredictable — or beyond prediction, because it was so apparent.

It is both overrated and underperforming.

It is not a sleeping giant. It is a creeping giant, crawling slothlike down a hill to a boomshaw where it will try to swim but fall to the bottom of the beautiful abyss under its own slovenly weight to drown and eventually be consumed by heretofore undiscovered creatures with no eyes.

That’s a lot of pretty words to describe a decrepit scene. And these days, people want numbers. Oh, but the numbers. There is no poetry in arithmetic, which is fine because there’s no poetry to describe how woeful the Metro is, unless there’s undiscovered verse from an especially dark day in Emily Dickinson’s life. Here’s the numbers anyway:

Read the rest of this entry »

Great Game Previews In History: 25 October 2013

by J.R.

Today In History

800px-Schlacht_von_Azincourt-1The English army under Henry V defeats the French at Agincourt during the Hundred Years War.

The English — employing the longbow and a large number of English and Welsh archers — defeated a numerically superior French army, turning the tide in the very long war.

One great legacy of the battle is the St. Crispin’s Day Speech from William Shakespeare’s Henry V, the greatest fictional political speech of all time. It ends thus:

And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.

Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Thirteen: The Final…Well, You Know

by J.R.

Every Thursday we bring you the III Communication’s Conference III Power Rankings, the Thursday Thirteen.

This week, we offer the final rankings of the 2013 season and prepare for the coming glory of Conference III.

Read the rest of this entry »

Torts For Dallas: III Reasons Why The Stars Are Aligning

by J.R.

John Tortorella should obviously coach the Dallas Stars now that he’s been canned by the Rangers.

Instead of risking our lives by actually asking the famously-prickly coach about moving to Big D, we came up with this brief photo essay

Read the rest of this entry »