III Communication

Covering The NHL's Conference III Better Than Anyone On The Whole Internet. Like Ma Bell, We Got The III Communication

Tag: Martin Erat

DemocraThree: 10 February 2014

by J.R.

demo210

Every Friday (except this week obviously), bloggers from around The Heptarchy will update us on the news and notes from their teams (with that fancy header image courtesy of Mike D, updated anew this week, and like democracy itself, it’s a perpetual work-in-progress). Yes, we ripped this off from TRH’s Pacific War Room; no, we don’t care. And since we ripped it off, we’ll follow their lead and go in standings order.

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Great Game Previews In History: 6 February 2014

by J.R.

Today In History

528px-Franklin1877The fledgling United States scores big diplomatically when two treaties — the Treaty of Alliance and the Treaty of Amity and Commerce — between the U.S. and France are signed in Paris on 6 February 1778.

The Second Continental Congress had been seeking allies for the fight against the British and France — England’s ancient enemy — was the obvious choice. The French initially balked, but charmed by Ben Franklin’s funny hat and impressed by the American victory at Saratoga, they eventually came around.

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The Metropolitan Division is Stupid and Ugly and Dumb

by J.R.

tenby-mystery-beast-1-510x600-1361996047The NHL’s Metropolitan Division is a complete wasteland, devoid of any meaning or usefulness.

It is a hotbed of sin and horror. It is where good hockey withers away like a collapsing factory in a service-based economy — or like a service-based economy in a world of consumerism. It is so bad that all economic metaphors apply to it equally, even ones that are complete opposites.

It’s so bad it’s awfulness was unpredictable — or beyond prediction, because it was so apparent.

It is both overrated and underperforming.

It is not a sleeping giant. It is a creeping giant, crawling slothlike down a hill to a boomshaw where it will try to swim but fall to the bottom of the beautiful abyss under its own slovenly weight to drown and eventually be consumed by heretofore undiscovered creatures with no eyes.

That’s a lot of pretty words to describe a decrepit scene. And these days, people want numbers. Oh, but the numbers. There is no poetry in arithmetic, which is fine because there’s no poetry to describe how woeful the Metro is, unless there’s undiscovered verse from an especially dark day in Emily Dickinson’s life. Here’s the numbers anyway:

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Heat Index: The Comprehensive Guide to All 21 Conference III Rivalries

by J.R.

Here we are.

After staring awkwardly at each other for a few months, laughing with and at one another, back-slapping and guffawing, being mirthful and merry, the season is now in our sights.

It’s time to hate.

There are 21 rivalries in Conference III — some old, some new, some borrowed, some involving the Jets (not many).

Which have the most heat in this historic first season? Our crack team of researchers using the scientific method (“scientific method”=thinking about it for a few minutes) have ranked all 21.

Some caveats:

1) The old Central Division is over-represented at the top and Winnipeg and Colorado, especially, are over-represented at the bottom. This will be hard to swallow for Jets fans, but we just don’t care about you yet.

2) Historical factors related to the old North Stars and old Jets were considered when necessary.

3) Teams are given in the order I thought of them when I wrote the list. By all means, consider word order a slight against your team.

4) Feel free to disagree and call me stupid. I don’t care, because you are wrong.

Starting at the bottom…

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Threeze Frame: Blake Geoffrion’s Hat Trick, 20 March 2011

by J.R.

As someone who has never played hockey or studied it at any level, I’m uniquely qualified to offer my analysis of crucial plays in key games and great moments from the past.

Today, with former Nashville Predator Blake Geoffrion announcing his retirement, I’ll examine the footage of his greatest NHL accomplishment: a hat trick against the Sabres in Buffalo on March 20, 2011.

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