Today the Winnipeg Jets — the minnows of Conference III — hosted the Detroit Red Wings, the yellow-bellied retreaters of the Flortheast.
Here we are.
After staring awkwardly at each other for a few months, laughing with and at one another, back-slapping and guffawing, being mirthful and merry, the season is now in our sights.
It’s time to hate.
There are 21 rivalries in Conference III — some old, some new, some borrowed, some involving the Jets (not many).
Which have the most heat in this historic first season? Our crack team of researchers using the scientific method (“scientific method”=thinking about it for a few minutes) have ranked all 21.
1) The old Central Division is over-represented at the top and Winnipeg and Colorado, especially, are over-represented at the bottom. This will be hard to swallow for Jets fans, but we just don’t care about you yet.
2) Historical factors related to the old North Stars and old Jets were considered when necessary.
3) Teams are given in the order I thought of them when I wrote the list. By all means, consider word order a slight against your team.
4) Feel free to disagree and call me stupid. I don’t care, because you are wrong.
Starting at the bottom…
As camps continue in Conference III, we’ll do a daily check-in on what’s happening across The Heptarchy. Most of the time, frankly, this is going to be by Twitter search or maybe Google if we are feeling especially inspired. Sometimes the Nashville report may be done in person. We’ll see if our buddy Gord Stinkhole wants to check in from Winnipeg. And if any of y’all have any insights from a camp visit, fire ‘em to conferencethree[at]gmail[dot]com. We’ll totally rip off your content.
This week, III Communication presents “Hot August Nights.” At one minute past sundown local time we’ll be reviewing the off-seasons of each Conference III team using the songs of American legend Neil Diamond.
Tonight, we head to the home of Black Diamond and review the Nashville Predators.
It’s five past 5 across Conference III (leave work early, Colorado — you have our permission, if you’re in fact working today, which seems unlikely), time to hit bricks and get that freakin’ weekend started, am I right?
Of course I am.
It’s been a tough week for some of you so loosen your belt, pop a top, grab a spoon and stop being such a sourpuss. III Communication’s got good news for everybody.