III Communication

Covering The NHL's Conference III Better Than Anyone On The Whole Internet. Like Ma Bell, We Got The III Communication

Tag: Minnesota North Stars

DemocraThree: 24 January 2013

by J.R.

demothree

Every Friday, bloggers from around The Heptarchy will update us on the news and notes from their teams (with that fancy header image courtesy of Mike D and like democracy itself, it’s a perpetual work-in-progress). Yes, we ripped this off from TRH’s Pacific War Room; no, we don’t care. And since we ripped it off, we’ll follow their lead and go in standings order.

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Heat Index: The Comprehensive Guide to All 21 Conference III Rivalries

by J.R.

Here we are.

After staring awkwardly at each other for a few months, laughing with and at one another, back-slapping and guffawing, being mirthful and merry, the season is now in our sights.

It’s time to hate.

There are 21 rivalries in Conference III — some old, some new, some borrowed, some involving the Jets (not many).

Which have the most heat in this historic first season? Our crack team of researchers using the scientific method (“scientific method”=thinking about it for a few minutes) have ranked all 21.

Some caveats:

1) The old Central Division is over-represented at the top and Winnipeg and Colorado, especially, are over-represented at the bottom. This will be hard to swallow for Jets fans, but we just don’t care about you yet.

2) Historical factors related to the old North Stars and old Jets were considered when necessary.

3) Teams are given in the order I thought of them when I wrote the list. By all means, consider word order a slight against your team.

4) Feel free to disagree and call me stupid. I don’t care, because you are wrong.

Starting at the bottom…

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Happy Hour In The Heptarchy: Gord Stinkhole Takeover

by J.R.

It’s five past 5 across Conference III (leave work early, Colorado — you have our permission), time to hit bricks and get that freakin’ weekend started, am I right?

Of course I am.

It’s been a tough week for some of you so loosen your belt, pop a top, grab a spoon and stop being such a sourpuss. III Communication’s got good news for everybody.

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Buzz3eed: Eight Places In Texas To Move The Minnesota Wild

by J.R.

In Monday’s Pioneer Press, columnist Charley Walters passed along this gem:

A little birdie says the Wild lost $30 million during their abbreviated 2012-13 season, and a cash call was made to team investors in February. The Wild paid bonuses totaling $20 million to sign free agents Zach Parise and Ryan Suter.

Now that seems almost silly — $30 million is an extraordinary amount of money to lose for a team that claimed 104 percent capacity, even in a lockout-shortened year in which they paid two players $20 million combined.

Of course, we are talking about Craig Leipold. The story of his business acumen can be found here. This is a man who took over a franchise that had a waiting list for season tickets. Then, four years later, he crowed about how spending $20 million on two players sparked season ticket sales. Logic tells us then that under Craig Leipold’s leadership, the season ticket base eroded for a team playing in the self-proclaimed State of Hockey. Great job, Craig.

Now, a caveat — the Wild weren’t the only Conference III team that had lockout problems. Attendance was up in Nashville, but the paid number was down with the overall figure buoyed by the team giving away nearly a literal ton of tickets per game.

In any event, this report of monetary troubles in Minnesota led to this obvious reaction from Monica McAlister at Kukla’s Korner:

Is the State of Hockey at risk of losing their second National Hockey League Franchise?

It has been 20 years, nearly to the day, that the Minnesota North Stars packed up and moved to the sunbelt and became the Dallas Stars; and low attendance and lost revenue during seasons where the team did not play up to the standards of their fan base.

All this based on a report sourced to a little bird — and let’s be real, how reliable are birds?

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Threeber: Justin Bieber Has As Many Conference III Jerseys As Reid Simpson

by J.R.

Reid Simpson, the pride of Flin Flon (Flin Flon has a flag), played for four Conference III franchises — one game with the North Stars, plus stints with Chicago, St. Louis and Nashville (s/t to Ryantologist)

Yesterday, Justin Bieber got to meet the Stanley Cup and he touched (oh nos!) and stood on the chief’s head (THE HORROR!) and picked up a Blackhawks jersey for his trouble (Original Six, baby).

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Our Name Is Our Name: A Plea To Gary Bettman and William J. Daly III

by J.R.

In the matter of reforming things, as distinct from deforming them, there is one plain and simple principle; a principle which will probably be called a paradox. There exists in such a case a certain institution or law; let us say, for the sake of simplicity, a fence or gate erected across a road. The more modern type of reformer goes gaily up to it and says, “I don’t see the use of this; let us clear it away.” To which the more intelligent type of reformer will do well to answer: “If you don’t see the use of it, I certainly won’t let you clear it away. Go away and think. Then, when you can come back and tell me that you do see the use of it, I may allow you to destroy it. — G.K.  Chesterton in The Thing

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Come With III If You Want To Live!

by J.R.

In last night’s game between some team from the 13 Colonies and some team from the Still The Colonies, April Reimer and Elisha Cuthbert swapped evil death looks.

Here’s the video (Cuthbert is the one that looks like the main porn star from The Girl Next Door):

In the meantime, we’ve learned that there is no bad blood:

And that Elisha Cuthbert wants us to keep it real:

And that dolphins are ninjas hellbent on humanity’s destruction:

But who was Mister #rudecomment, though? Read the rest of this entry »