Every Thursday we bring you III Communication’s Conference III Power Rankings, the Thursday Thirteen.
This week I saw my boss reading something that was posted on ESPN’s Page 2. Remember that?
In honor of our birthday, let’s, in the spirit of our proprietary power ranking system, look at our Top 13 posts of all time (ranked by views).
In case you missed it, the Stars trolled the Maple Leafs hard Thursday night to a 7-1 win. The Stars game ops team and whoever runs their social media accounts trolled even harder.
3dō is an occasional feature in which the meaning of Conference III is explained through prose, verse, song, interpretative dance, film, chemical formulae or illustrative anecdote relayed by old people.
Never in their history have the Colorado Avalanche been so perfectly named.
An avalanche is nature’s great example of the law of conservation of energy. Energy cannot be created nor can it be destroyed; it can be converted from one form to another — potential energy to kinetic. Pent up momentum released by one movement — a wall of snow rushes downhill, sweeping up all in its path in a horrifying, irresistible cold terror.
This week, Colorado Avalanche executive vice-president of hockey operations Joe Sakic kicked a rock at the top of the mountain.
Sometimes Conference III is a prison-gang yard fight.
And sometimes, it’s the NHL’s most elaborate troll job. There’s an Original Six team jammed in with two Sun Belt teams, one of which moved from the home of another team in the division. There’s a Canadian team that moved from the Sun Belt and got dressed up in a history it doesn’t own, like one of those weirdos who breaks into people’s houses and wears their clothes. It’s a Central Time Zone division which includes a Mountain Time team. And also, St. Louis is involved.
This week’s Threero embraces the best of Conference III: being great at what you are even if you are not what people want you to be. It’s fighting when necessary — and refusing to fight when it will irritate the most people. It’s scoring, yes, but only in hilarious ways that make no sense.
If Conference III is the NHL’s mean-mug, our Threero is its smart-ass smirk.