III Communication

Covering The NHL's Conference III Better Than Anyone On The Whole Internet. Like Ma Bell, We Got The III Communication

Tag: Vincent Lacavalier

DemocraThree: 4 April 2014

by J.R.


Every Friday bloggers from around The Heptarchy will update us on the news and notes from their teams (with that fancy header image courtesy of Mike D; like democracy itself, it’s a perpetual work-in-progress). Yes, we ripped this off from TRH’s Pacific War Room; no, we don’t care. And since we ripped it off, we’ll follow their lead and go in standings order.

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Great Game Previews In History: 16 January 2014

by J.R.

Today In History

524px-Ivan-Groznyi-ParsunaIvan IV Vasilyevich, Grand Prince of Moscow, is crowned as Tsar of All the Russians on January 16, 1547.

You know him better as Ivan The Terrible.

At 8, Ivan ascended as Grand Prince of Moscow upon the death of his father, Vasili III, who was struck ill with blood poisoning after he developed a boil. His mother acted as regent, but died of what is now believed to be poisoning. Ivan felt put out by the powerful boyars and at just 16, was crowned with Monomakh’s Cap and proclaimed Tsar of All The Russians, the first ruler with that title (though his grandfather, Ivan The Great, used the title tsar).

Ivan ruled until 1584 (!), and his 37 years as tsar show him to be a complex and interesting figure.

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The Metropolitan Division is Stupid and Ugly and Dumb

by J.R.

tenby-mystery-beast-1-510x600-1361996047The NHL’s Metropolitan Division is a complete wasteland, devoid of any meaning or usefulness.

It is a hotbed of sin and horror. It is where good hockey withers away like a collapsing factory in a service-based economy — or like a service-based economy in a world of consumerism. It is so bad that all economic metaphors apply to it equally, even ones that are complete opposites.

It’s so bad it’s awfulness was unpredictable — or beyond prediction, because it was so apparent.

It is both overrated and underperforming.

It is not a sleeping giant. It is a creeping giant, crawling slothlike down a hill to a boomshaw where it will try to swim but fall to the bottom of the beautiful abyss under its own slovenly weight to drown and eventually be consumed by heretofore undiscovered creatures with no eyes.

That’s a lot of pretty words to describe a decrepit scene. And these days, people want numbers. Oh, but the numbers. There is no poetry in arithmetic, which is fine because there’s no poetry to describe how woeful the Metro is, unless there’s undiscovered verse from an especially dark day in Emily Dickinson’s life. Here’s the numbers anyway:

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Great Game Previews In History: 5 October 2013

by J.R.

This Day In History

428px-PrincepotemkinIn 1791, Prince Grigory Aleksandrovich Potemkin-Tavricheski dies on the steppes. He caught a fever a few weeks earlier in Jassy — where he was negotiating a treaty with the Ottomans, fasted briefly and recovered some strength, but refused medicine and began to feast once again, consuming a “ham, a slated goose and three or four chickens.”

Potemkin was a Russian military leader, statesman, nobleman and favorite of Catherine the Great, who lent his name to Potemkin villages — stage managed towns erected along Russian railways designed to give the impression the south of the Empire was far richer than it was.

To use hockey terms, the Potemkin villages were like a high PDO — false richness built on a fraud.

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