[Redacted]: Poophat Primer

by obscenealex

Poophat, not to be confused with Pope hat.

It’s finally that time of year again.  The leaves are turning, the air is beginning to get a little brisk, and the Conference III Crown of Fecal Matter is fresh, odorous, and steamy.  For the uninitiated reader, the infamous S— Stetson was introduced last season to be the yin to the Conference III Championship Belt’s yang.

The Winnipeg Jets ended last season with the S— Lid, losing to Minnesota, and they therefore begin the season with the fresh Fecal Fedora resting untidily atop their flow and occasionally dribbling down their faces.  However, it’s a new season.  The record book is reset.  Winnipeg can divest itself of the Merde Millinery and regain their pride—or shamefully retain it until a matchup with another Conference III foe later in October.

[Redacted]: Hockey Is Finally Here

by obscenealex

Welcome back, [poultry fetishists].  Teams from other divisions played yesterday, but [ignore] them.  Today marks the first day of the real NHL regular season.  To mark this momentous occasion, join me for a review of the teams that make our beloved Conference III a special division—a Great Divide—separating it from the Flortheast, the Californian, and the Metropolitan, where division name jokes write themselves.  As J.R. so eloquently pointed out yesterday, it is our division that both unites us and divides us, and since he chose to focus on the former, I will examine the latter in the form of crass, brash, and morally distasteful power rankings.

Trotz Gets The Ice Ax

by J.R.

You’ll forgive the people of Nashville today, for we know not what to do.

Two years out of the playoffs was one too many. Two playoff series wins was one too few.

And fifteen seasons and nearly 17 years was all too long.

Thursday Thirteen: This Is The End

by J.R.

Every Thursday we bring you III Communication’s Conference III Power Rankings, the Thursday Thirteen.

This week, the last fake rankings of the year.

DemocraThree: 28 March 2014

by J.R.

Every Friday bloggers from around The Heptarchy will update us on the news and notes from their teams (with that fancy header image courtesy of Mike D; like democracy itself, it’s a perpetual work-in-progress). Yes, we ripped this off from TRH’s Pacific War Room; no, we don’t care. And since we ripped it off, we’ll follow their lead and go in standings order.

Conference III Championship Tale Of The Tape: Colorado at Nashville, 25 March 2014

by J.R.

Tonight, the Predators put up their first Conference III Belt defense of their third run with the strap against the visiting Colorado Avalanche, the only team that’s yet to win the belt.

It’s getting down to brass tacks time as we race to the end of the year and the determination of who carries the title in the off-season (I’ve made an executive decision to stop the belt with the end of the regular season, as the playoffs are their own reward).

Can Nashville build another long run with the title? Can Colorado finish strong and win their first belt?

Let’s take a look.

 

Conference III Championship Tale Of The Tape: Nashville at Chicago, 22 March 2014

by J.R.

Tonight, in a Sunday special, the Conference III Belt is on the line as Nashville travels to Chicago as the Predators try to become the third member of the three-Belt club along with the Blackhawks and Blues.

This is the third time Nashville and Chicago have met for the Belt, with each team winning once, bookending a Nashville title run.

Let’s see how they stack up!

DemocraThree: 21 March 2014

by J.R.

Every Friday bloggers from around The Heptarchy will update us on the news and notes from their teams (with that fancy header image courtesy of Mike D; like democracy itself, it’s a perpetual work-in-progress). Yes, we ripped this off from TRH’s Pacific War Room; no, we don’t care. And since we ripped it off, we’ll follow their lead and go in standings order.

Conference III Championship Belt Tale Of The Tape: St. Louis at Nashville, 6 March 2014

by J.R.

Tonight, St. Louis puts the Conference III Championship Belt on the line for the first time since before the Olympic break as they travel to Nashville.

Trade Central Time Zone: Your Guide To The 2013-14 Trade Deadline

by J.R.

Exactly one week from the moment this is posted — Wednesday, March 5 at 2 PM Central (1 PM Mountain) — the NHL will hit its trade deadline, which makes the next week simultaneously one of the most interesting and exhausting weeks on the schedule. It can be very confusing, what with real insiders — like Uncle Bob — trying to cut through the noise of rumormongers, charlatans, fake accounts of real reporters and fake accounts of charlatans.

We’re here to help with a handy guide to what you need to know for the week ahead.